Linda Bindner Community

2008-10-07T17:57:00.005-05:00

The End

Linda and I have talked about ending the blog for a while now. It's not that we aren't still here, and it's not like the story really ends. But you have to stop writing somewhere. If you want the news on us, you'll just have to send an email or visit us.

People new to the site will probably have found us via internet search and will want to start at the beginning... The Fateful Day (START HERE). Don't let the lack of posts make you think we aren't still around if you have a question.

2008-07-24T10:20:00.000-05:00

A post about the weather

15 years ago today it was raining too.

2008-05-19T23:05:00.002-05:00

Good luck

What are the odds that my car battery would give up the ghost in the Wal-mart parking lot, possibly the cheapest place in town to buy a replacement? That was some darned good fortune.

And I was just talking over the weekend about having jumper cables in my trunk. I have all kinds of practical goodies in my trunk. As of today, I also have a small set of wrenches in my trunk. They're good for working the battery terminals.

2008-05-18T08:04:00.002-05:00

You are what you eat

Last week, Linda and I both had our physicals, the routine kind where they check your cholesterol and such. You'll be glad to know that we are both generally healthy folks, brain injuries aside. Linda was a bit short of B vitamins, and the doc suggested looking at vitamins (since there are some foods she just isn't supposed to eat).

This is not so easy. We were cautioned way back when about vitamins by Linda's stroke doctor. For one thing, she isn't supposed to get too much vitamin K, so a generic multivitamin is out. I'm the diligent sort, though, so I went to the store and read the backs of all the bottles. I'm pretty much disinclined to get her anything that has 32,000% of anything, but eventually I found a nice B-complex vitamin that only had 100% of the stuff I was looking for.

It made her feel bad almost right away. Oops, it had iron in it. I'm sure we've been told, but the doctors tell you lots and lots of things and it is hard to remember everything. A little Googling reminded us that iron interferes with the absorption of one of Linda's medications. Boy did she notice. So that vitamin is a no go.

I did find something that works. In fact, I feel very proud for having solved the dilemma by buying her vitamins for little kids. Little kids' vitamins often don't contain iron because it can poison them. But the vitamins I found contain 100%, for kids, of the B vitamins Linda needs which is about 70% of the RDA for adults. So they are perfect for what I want. We can add a little fish to meals and eat a few more peanuts and we'll be set. It's not like she isn't eating food also.

Our little misadventure with vitamins has had an unexpected benefit. It isn't just vitamins that trouble her. The next day, she realized that she had the same feeling after eating a highly-fortified breakfast cereal, one that had 45% of your RDA of iron. It's amazing that in 4 years we hadn't identified that eating some foods was associated with the "bad days" where she feels dizzy and generally yucky. Now that we know, I expect we can look forward to more "good days."

2008-05-10T17:49:00.004-05:00

Ellie's first trip to the salon

She wanted her hair bobbed. Since it was her first time, we also did something special and straightened her hair. Here's a silly picture of her with Linda showing off the look.

2008-05-10T09:45:00.002-05:00

A Mother's Day Poem

Mom

I get hugs

Buys toys

She likes me

Me and my mom love

My mom loves me

Me and my mom go swimming

My mom likes me

Kisses me

Mom

By Ellie

2008-04-15T20:12:00.007-05:00

Happy tax day

I have no idea how many of our readers do their taxes at the last moment. I did my taxes as soon as I was sure I had all of the paperwork, quite a while back now. Although I'm a tech guy, I actually do my taxes on paper with a pen. I made more mistakes this year than usual, but I believe I caught them all during proofreading.

I do use a spreadsheet to predict how my taxes will come out (and that guides how I make some of our investments) but I don't use any tax or financial software. They don't make tax software for Linux. Personally, I think doing my own taxes has helped me understand them better anyway. I've only used an accountant once to do my taxes and she missed $400 in credits I could have easily snagged if I had done it myself. Call that an opportunity loss of about $500 since she cost a cool $100 herself.

Linda Bindner, budding hacker

Linda turned around and asked me the other day who Steve Wozniak (founder of Apple) and Kevin Mitnick (world's most famous hacker) were. I asked her why she was interested, and she said that she was looking at a book Mitnick wrote. I was surprised to say the least, but I said, He wrote a really good book called The Art of Deception, all about social engineering. She is now reading my copy. It really is the apocalypse if Linda is reading hacker books. I predict next lions laying down with lambs.

Don Bindner, amateur economist

Personally, I read fantasy novels. Except when I read books on economics or investing. Since today is tax day, and I have read a lot of books about money, I thought I would give some a plug. If Linda is reading about hackers, who knows what everyone else might be reading.

1. The Richest Man in Babylon: George S. Clason. This is a surprisingly good book, and it is the first book I would give someone to inspire them to take control of their money life. I'd give it to my sister. Actually, I think I did give it to my sister.

2. All Your Worth: The Ultimate Lifetime Money Plan: Elizabeth Warren, Amelia Warren Tyagi. The Clason book might get you interested in taking control of your life, but I think this one gives you better tools to do something about it. Even if you aren't swimming in credit card debt, you could probably check it out. If you don't think a supportive nurturing approach will work for you, then I recommend the get mad approach of Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness. I'm just not a get mad kind of guy.

3. Stocks for the Long Run: Jeremy J. Siegel. You're eventually going to want to think about investing. This is a classic about investing. It's a bit academic in tone, but it covers a wider variety of topics than most other books.

4. The Intelligent Asset Allocator: How to Build Your Portfolio to Maximize Returns and Minimize Risk: William Bernstein. This was the book that taught me why you rebalance. Oh, I knew you should rebalance, and I had read lots of arguments in favor of it. This is the book that convinced me. Rebalancing is essential, and if you don't believe it read the book. If it is too dry for you, then substitute The Four Pillars of Investing: Lessons for Building a Winning Portfolio by the same author.

5. Security Analysis: by Benjamin Graham. Everyone wants to be like Warren Buffett, and this is where he started. It might make you feel like you too can be a great stock picker, and you too can beat the market. While you're enjoying that delusion, you should pick up a few titles about Buffett himself like The Warren Buffett Way, and really bask in the feeling.

6. Read something by John C. Bogle, the inventor of the index fund. Learn that mutual funds exist to generate fees (not to make you money). They may make you money, but they exists to generate fees. He'll teach you that index funds rule.

7. Jim Cramer's Real Money: Sane Investing in an Insane World. Is it a great book? Maybe not, but I liked it a lot. If you pay attention, there are good lessons in there. Although he tells you how to pick stocks, he also tells you that you aren't good enough to do it and you should put your real money in index funds (because it is too important to screw up). He puts rebalancing in context you can understand. He talks about the dishonesty in Wall Street. And there are a lot of laughs.

8. The Retirement Savings Time Bomb . . . and How to Defuse It by Ed Slott, or perhaps his later book, which is probably a bit more practical but somehow not quite as entertaining. This book isn't about investing. It's about the vehicles we invest in, like 401(k)s, 403(b)s, IRAs, Roths. You only wish you had enough money that some of this applied to you.

I'm probably missing a few others (like Malkiel or Levitt, insert them here) but this is the one for last until I find a better last book:

9. Wise Investing Made Simple: Larry Swedroe. This is the book that cures you of lots of the things you learned from books 3-7. It isn't that there isn't truth in the other books, but as Obi Wan Kenobi says, "many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view." You want Swedroe's point of view if for no other reason than he gets the point of risk across better than other authors I've found.

There you go. Your summer reading list. Read something and we'll go to lunch and talk about it.

It takes money to make money

I'm still on my April 15th theme. Can you tell I've been thinking about it for a few days? Well, if there is anything better than saving and investing your own money well, it is picking up a few extra dollars you didn't expect.

One place you can pick up $25 is at RevelutionMoneyExchange. It's an electronic payment service kind of like Paypal, and to establish a customer base, they'll give you $25 to open an account. I know, because I've already snagged my signup bonus. Use my referrer link and they'll give me $10 when they give you $25. It must be cheaper for them than advertising.

Another way you can grab $25 is to open an ING online savings account. If you deposit $250 they will give you $25 extra. You have to leave the money in for six months to keep the bonus. But $25 interest in 6 months is like a 20% annual rate. You won't get that anywhere, and the base rate which is only 3% is probably better than anything you've got. The best part (best for me anyway) is that if you let me refer you, they'd send me $10 for the favor. Seems like a theme among these online accounts. They don't have a fancy link, so email me if you want a referral, donDOTbindner AT gmail.com.

On the topic of online savings accounts, I also like Emigrant Direct, but their rate dropped to 2.75% and they don't give you a bonus. I've got ING and Emigrant accounts and either seems like a pretty good place to drop a chunk of your emergency fund for safe keeping.

If you read this far, I congratulate you. Linda didn't read this far, you can be sure. She finds this money stuff way boring.

2008-03-30T11:53:00.004-05:00

I know you wonder where I've been

But I have a good reason for neglecting the blog. For the past 3 weeks I have spent a lot of my free time putting a pocket door on the small bathroom that Linda uses most. It was finished this morning.

I've included a picture so you can see how it turned out. When I started I was afraid it might be a disaster and I wasn't sure I wanted that recorded, so I don't have a before picture (or during pictures for that matter). You'll have to use imagination I'm afraid.

In the picture, the area outlined in red is where most of the work was done. With the help of a friend (who gave me the courage to tackle this job myself) I tore the wall down to the studs. We cut the studs short to make the pocket for the door to slide into. We hung the door mechanism into the rough opening. We redid the drywall over everything, including the taping and the mudding. Finally there was a lot of paint, then the trim. This morning I gave a second coat to the trim and repainted one wall inside the bathroom that just didn't turn out quite right.

2008-02-10T11:17:00.000-06:00

Brake update

I forgot to say, but Linda's wheelchair brake eventually came in. The design is clearly more durable than the brakes that came on her chair originally. It's also shorter and less inclined to get in the way so I preemptively replaced the brake on the other side too before it could break.

2008-02-09T19:46:00.000-06:00

Ellie: "Dad, where were you born?"

Dad: "Iowa."

Pause...

Ellie: "Do you speak 'Iowa'?"

Dad, smiling: "No, they speak English in Iowa too."

2008-02-07T13:07:00.000-06:00

February 7th

It's February 7th again, which makes it 4 years since Linda's stroke. People often ask me how she's doing. Not everyone can make it out to the house to visit, so here's a summary.

When Linda had her stroke, she couldn't talk, eat, or even move for over a week. Linda uses a walker regularly, but she can walk. It takes her probably 5 minutes to walk from one side of the house to the other. It would probably take me about 30 seconds, although I haven't timed it.

She uses her wheelchair for cooking and when she does things that require "holding" and moving at the same time. She also uses it when she is tired.

She can talk. She doesn't really speak clearly enough to talk to most folks on the phone. She'd be a telemarketer's nightmare, so she generally doesn't answer the phone. She has her own cell phone with her own number and it is with her so she can call in case she falls or gets hurt. And she knows that anyone calling her number can expect to reach her; they know what they're getting.

As for regular activities. Linda doesn't vacuum as you might imagine. I suppose she could probably do a passable job vacuuming with her wheelchair. She also doesn't clean or generally handle things that are up high. She does cook or herself, and often for the family. She also manages to do most all of the laundry. She has strategies for some things, like a rope attached to the clothes basket so she can drag it behind her. And it takes her longer than a regular person. I estimate most tasks take 4-8 times as long for her to do. A half hour of folding clothes becomes 2 hours.

She can type. She used to be a very fast touch-typist. She's a lot slower now, and makes an annoying number of mistakes (annoying for her I'm sure). She does send and receive a lot of email anyway. She writes her own stories and she reads things written by others on the internet.

We usually go to the gym once a week to lift weights. We used to walk some for that, but we take the wheelchair now so she can work out harder on the machines. We also have to get her blood tested once a month to make sure that her anti-clotting medication levels don't get dangerously high or low.

Our favorite restaurants are McDonald's (almost always carry out, but they have a reasonably accessible bathroom) and Sonic (you don't even have to get out of the car). We don't eat out very often, but we do order delivery some and I carry out on my way home from work even more often. Eating out isn't that fun in general for Linda, not like it is for most of us. As a rule there is a lot of background noise at restaurants and it is hard for Linda to join in conversation. Sitting around and feeling excluded is kind of boring. You can imagine that parties have something of the same characteristics.

Linda refuses to shop at J.C.Penny because the changing rooms have no bar. For a place that caters to old people, they are shockingly out of touch. She will grudgingly go to Walmart, although the bathroom there is tough with a hard right turn just inside the door (hard to navigate with her wheelchair). I often shop for her and just take back things that don't fit or she doesn't like. Luckily I'm not intimidated by the bra section! The internet is another handy help here, since she can buy things and have them delivered to the door.

But compared to the beginning, things are amazing. That Linda can do anything at all is really something that couldn't have been predicted at the start.

2008-01-11T08:01:00.000-06:00

Counting down to work

School at Truman starts Monday. I'm starting to get ready for classes. I like to have a detailed calendar of the semester for each of my classes. Generally speaking, I push my students at the beginning of the semester and end the semester at a nice even pace (in contrast to some who get behind and crush their kids at the end).

It will be nice to be on a schedule again, and not nice at the same time. I get accustomed to being home with Linda when on break, even if we each do our own things quite a bit. She gets used to having me around and probably notices the change even more.

I forget if I mentioned, but one of the brakes on Linda's wheelchair has been broken for 3 weeks. The new brake finally came in yesterday and I put it on last night. I can tell by looking at it that they have changed to a more durable design. I think I'll just go ahead and order the other brake right now; the old brake is definitely "designed to fail" and it is only a matter of time. She's really found it inconvenient that one side of her chair always wanted to slide out from under her whenever she stands up.

Last week I got something unexpected. I got a final redetermination by the insurance company for Linda's physical therapy --- that she did in July 2006. After a year and a half of careful pondering, the insurance company has decided that the account should be recalculated. The new calculation shows the same amount of money in each box (with the very important note that the insurance company owes nothing additional). Wow. I'm so glad they are on the ball about these things. I don't owe anything extra either apparently, and I'm sure the hospital has long since closed that account anyway.

Of course I'm being a bit cynical about it. I could just be something silly, like a computer system that requires some step to resolve the claim, which while taken care of was still technically open. I'm guessing they couldn't get the computer to agree to anything else, so they recalculated with the previous values and so they could finally put the claim to rest. If it had really been pending and really requiring attention, imagine how frustrated I would be at this point, though.

2007-12-27T09:35:00.000-06:00

Holiday

We had a pretty uneventful holiday. My parents were down over the weekend before Christmas. We had expected to see my sister as well, but the snow and ice kept her away. We'll have to catch up some time in January.

We spent Christmas day at home and there seems to have been enough gifts to keep everyone satisfied, even Ellie. She is a perceptive one though. She noticed that Mom and Dad bought most of her "toy" gifts. Santa tended to bring her more practical gifts, and she thought that was a bit out of character for Santa. Very sharp. I'll have to watch that next year.

Yesterday I spent much of the day running errands. On Christmas, we cracked the tank on the back of one of our toilets. Luckily the amount of water that went everywhere was moderate. That toilet never flushed well, so Ellie and I shopped around town for a replacement (rather than a repair). I put it in myself last night, and it seems to be working great with no leaks, so I am feeling very manly right now.

The left brake on Linda's wheelchair has been broken for over a week. She has to really take care when using it so it doesn't scoot out from behind her. I've had one on order, but it is taking just forever to arrive. Hopefully I'll get a phone call today saying it is in Kirksville. I don't care if they install it or if I do it, since there's just a couple of bolts to connect. Linda is more than ready for it to work again.

2007-12-11T22:04:00.000-06:00

It is good to have juice

The electricity has been off a lot today. The power folks were really nice when I called to report it, but it took a long time to get it going. Ellie, of course, was about to burst from excitement.

Linda can't walk in the dark, so I had planned ahead for days like today. We have quite a few candles, a variety of flashlights, and an led lantern that is supposed to be able to run for a week on a set of batteries. It seemed like a lot, but we could use more light. Maybe Santa will restock us even better in a couple of weeks.

The power company did get the power on for about 40 minutes at supper time, just enough time to cook something hot which we ate in the dark. They were great about calling back to see if our power was back on, and they were a bit disappointed to learn that the power had only been fixed a short time before it broke again.

It seems to be more permanently fixed now.

I need better plans for things to occupy Ellie when the lights are out. I wasn't as creative as I could have been. I realized later that her Leap Pad would have been great, since she knows many sight words from school now and she's better at it than ever. I'm also thinking a stash of "clean" coloring books ought to be hidden away somewhere. As it was, she did a pretty good job being occupied.

2007-11-29T21:31:00.000-06:00

Life is a game

One of the consequences of teaching a class that is part economics and part game theory is that you tend to start viewing all aspects of life as a game. Sometimes this can be good of course, and I have an example for you. Perhaps this can improve your life by some microscopic amount.

Our family pretty regularly orders from the drive through at McDonald's, and we get the same thing each time. Ellie wants the kid's meal for a girl with a coke, Linda likes a #2 with a coke, and I usually get a grilled classic sandwich without mayo and a coke. (Part of living the "Supersize me" life when Linda was in the hospital means I now tend to go for the low-fat offering and I don't order fries.)

My order is pretty regularly completed incorrectly. The most common mistakes are that they give me the meal instead of the sandwich (so I get and get charged for fries) or they forget my drink. I suppose it has to do with the "without mayo" part which distracts them--they have to hit extra keys for that. I realized that I could probably optimize the probability of my purchase being done right simply by changing the sequence in which I ask for items.

Historically, I have ordered my items last, after Ellie's and Linda's, for no particular reason. I realized that asking for a "grilled classing sandwich without mayo and a medium coke" at the end of my order was doing me in. It has pretty much the same rhythm as ordering the meal with a coke. All they have to do is plonk their finger down on the wrong button (which they probably press a dozen times every day) and my order is wrong. Or they get caught up using the override button to remove the mayo and then leave off my drink.

Solution: order the drink first and the sandwich second. It breaks the pattern. Since the drink is first, they don't forget it, and since the typical pattern is broken the temptation to hit the "meal" key is reduced. My order comes through more reliably.

The best part of my solution is that it seems to work.

2007-11-28T07:20:00.000-06:00

The crush at the end

With 5th week grades due this semester instead of midterms, there was a crush at the beginning of term. There's always a crush at the end, and this semester is no different. Linda is already complaining that she doesn't get to see me. She's wanting to do games and things in the evening and I have grading. It happens other times of the semester, but it will be pretty consistent from here to Christmas. I suppose it makes it harder when you can't get out on your own.

Speaking of getting out. I took Linda to the driver's license office yesterday to renew her state-issued ID. The birth certificate she had wasn't good enough for them, so we've had to send off to get an official one. What I don't get is that it'll just be printed off on some computer and stamped with some raised stamp. Seems not that hard to fake, so I don't know exactly what the point would be. I'm pretty sure I could fool the lady at the desk.

Linda and I talked about how plenty of people who don't drive don't actually have current photo identification since it can be a hassle like this. Still if the United States is going to become one of those countries where you have to have your "papers" I suppose we'd better hassle. If you apply for your birth certificate by mail it only costs $10 and 6 weeks. You can apply online, and they promise not to sit on their hands for so long but they rook you for an extra $24.50 in processing fees and shipping. What a racket! Mail and pathetically slow will be just fine thank you.

It makes me glad I have a passport so this will be simpler when I have to renew.

2007-11-19T22:00:00.000-06:00

Insurance talk

It's open registration at Truman. Until tomorrow. After tomorrow the University can get back to all of the other things it does. I can't believe how much energy has gone into deciding our insurance options this year.

Some of it is because we have a new insurance option, a health savings account. Most of it is because we've received scant information about how our new option could work. And when we do get info, it all contradicts itself. We don't have co-pays on medication, we do have co-pays on medication. You can spend your HSA money on the same things you could use FSA money for, you can't.

Faculty members are scanning the IRS web site, checking out the guidelines because the don't believe the benefits director and frankly the representative from the insurance company was really uninformed. Some of the things we've been told seem to contradict what the IRS says an HSA can do. So faculty members clump up in little groups speculating what will happen if the benefits director discovers that it is illegal for the insurance to actually provide what we've been promised.

Everyone knows the answer of course. If the promises contradict the law, or even just the plain desires of the insurance company, we're screwed (it is insurance after all).

Somehow, I've gotten a reputation among the faculty for being an insurance expert. I get emails and phone calls asking me for opinions, or for the temperature of my particular brand of speculation. It really is an interesting question; so interesting that I had one of my math classes discuss it (as part of a unit on games of conflict). But still, I'll be glad that tomorrow is the deadline; the whole thing is a bit distracting.

2007-11-18T11:38:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, Ellie handed me a note that said, "Bles, can we go to my libre?" I had no idea she could do that. I was so impressed that I took her. I even paid some of my fines so she could check something out. It was nice of her to say bles (please).

2007-10-31T18:46:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween

Ellie and I went treating this evening. She had fun but was strangely restrained for a kid. Her bucket wasn't even full when she announced, "I think I'm done Dad. Two more doors and I'll be ready to go home."

She's good about sharing her candy. She told me I could eat whatever I wanted. Later I asked if I could open a little bag of M&Ms. She replied, "I already told you. You can eat whatever you want." What kid is like that?

Linda is good. Perhaps a bit tired. And she's dreading the cold of winter. It's a lot harder to get around for her when the air turns cold.

I am busy with classes, and I'm behind on my grading this week. Not behind by the standards of some people, but behind by my measure. Some not-insignificant part of my time has been consumed lately trying to decide which level of insurance to enroll in. I don't know how people who can't do mathematics ever decide. I think they probably just pay too much.

We actually discussed insurance as a topic in one of my classes. It is a game of incomplete information. The insurance company is particularly in the dark, because you know a lot about your health they have no idea about. I mentioned to my student about my deliberations. He suggested I explain it to the class so they could see how people really work to "game the company."

2007-09-20T22:15:00.000-05:00

6-year-olds can play cards

Our little girl likes to play Crazy 8's. I have to say, this moment was none too soon. We usually play a little bit of cards most nights. Sometimes it is just Ellie and me. Sometimes the whole family plays.

Anything is better than those imagination games that kindergarten kids play.

2007-09-17T15:38:00.000-05:00

Gifts that keep giving

I had a dream today that Linda and I were getting married again. I don't know what prompted it, but in the dream I was working on getting things organized. My mother asked me to take a moment aside and accept a couple of gifts that had come.

So this girl (who I have never met) hands me a game. She's explaining that some of the parts are wrapped up separately so that I don't lose them. When I check, I discover that part of the game is a mousetrap as big as my fist. Apparently, the game is trivia-based. If you miss a question, you have to tempt the rat trap, and if you are too slow or too uncoordinated, it snaps shut on your hand.

The girl was going on about how it was her favorite game as a kid. I just smiled, looked her in the eyes, and said, "thank you." Really I'm thinking, "Oh, Linda is going to love that."

2007-09-10T07:38:00.000-05:00

Did you nice that school started

We've noticed in our family. Life is busy now, but we are finding our routine. Linda and I go to the gym once a week to work out. Well, so she can work out. I just taunt her and tell her she's a weakling. Last week we took her forearm crutches and she used those instead of the wheelchair, so she was more tired than ever. I'm pretty sure Linda's old PT saw us from the other room; she was busy with patients and didn't have time to visit, but I expect we'll hear something about it this week.

I probably shouldn't have to say, but if Linda was getting a good workout before, adding the crutches really added to the challenge.

Ellie seems to be enjoying Kindergarten, but it is very challenging for her. I think I'm doubly glad that she didn't start until she was 6. She is pretty much tired all of the time now. After the first week she complained, "They expect us to sit in one place and work. My bottom gets tired." I just told her that her endurance would improve and it would get easier.

I love the language she has picked up in school. If she doesn't like my behavior somehow, she'll say, "That's not showing Tiger Pride Dad." She was explaining to Linda the concept of sharing warm fuzzies with a friend, "If you're showing Tiger Pride, ...." I know it's indoctrination, and I'm sure some of my academic friends find it offensive and revolting. But it's just so damned cute! And to tell the truth, it is exactly the kind of thing that speaks to Ellie; for the most part she finds it pretty easy to be good and get rewarded for that.

My own classes are very busy. I'm teaching an interdisciplinary course that I've never done before. So in addition to game theory (which is mathematics, and I have some background in) I am reading lots of books and articles on economics. At one time I would have guess that economics is boring, but it is actually fascinating. We've read great articles, with surprising but apparently-correct conclusions.

I suspect it will be a favorite class of many of my students this semester. We discuss lots of great topics and what economics and game theory have to say about them. One of our first articles explained why mandatory installation of seatbelts in cars should lead to more accidents occurring. We have articles coming up about prostitution and gun control and nuclear armament and religion. There are paradoxes to relish in. It should be fun.

Unfortunately fun pretty much equals lots of work. So I expect to feel perpetually on the move.

Today my task is to get the deer to quit eating all of my plants. I was beyond sad to see yesterday that the local deer ate all of the branches and half the bark off the apple tree I put in in April. I've watered that tree through the whole summer drought, and it has flourished until yesterday. Last night they ate my roses. They will recover, that's how roses are.

Deer season opens soon, and in a retribution kind of way I'm glad. Hopefully a few hunters can remind my deer that they are afraid of humans. I've been reading on the internet for strategies to dissuade deer from eating your plants. Mostly it is not an easy task, but I found one thing that looks promising. According to one orchard, you can place wire fence on the ground around your trees and deer get alarmed when the step on it; kind of like cattle guards. That sounds reasonably inexpensive and believable, so I'm going to try it. At least there's a chance I can keep them from eating Linda's apple tree tonight.

2007-08-14T13:34:00.001-05:00

We're cooking!

Ellie and I made a meatloaf today in the solar cooker we built around Christmas. It was a bit windy, so I put together a kind of cardboard frame to hold it together and then sort of secured everything with clothespins.

Ellie did much of the stirring and mixing as I measured all of the ingredients. Then I spooned our meatloaf into a quart jar painted black with non-toxic paint. We had it in the sun from 11am to 1pm and it was about 190 degrees Fahrenheit when I brought it in.

It was no better, but no worse than meatloaf made in the oven, perhaps a bit more moist but generally unbrowned. Linda condescended to try some, and said it tasted fine.

Four eyes, four legs

Four eyes: For those who remember, Linda had a prism for a long time after her stroke to take care of some double vision. She generally doesn't wear a prism now, although her glasses are slightly bent from falling on them. Still, she is wearing her contact lenses more and more. They make her a bit tired by the end of the day (she could still do with just a little bit of prism probably) but she much prefers to wear them to glasses.

Four legs: We are still practicing with Linda's forearm crutches. We don't do them everyday, but pretty regular. Of course they keep her hands full, so she can't carry anything. She can't even really scratch her nose, so the canes will definitely be for "out" when we get somewhere that just isn't practical with a walker or wheelchair.

2007-08-08T18:31:00.001-05:00

I know what you're thinking

You're thinking that I don't update the blog often enough. That's true.

Ellie is finishing up swimming lessons this week. I can't believe how well she swims. Way better than I did at her age. She even dives off the diving board. I can't even count the number of times I walked out to the end of the board and lost the courage to dive. One day, she just said "We can jump off any way we like, right?" When I said yes, I didn't realize that she meant head first. But she was a natural.

Last weekend we went to Linda's 20 year class reunion. Naturally that's a kind of challenging event. The place we had dinner didn't have accessible bathrooms (no surprise in the Midwest we've found). We sort of expected that, and managed. There was music and lots of noise, so naturally it was hard for Linda to talk. Luckily we came early before it got really noisy and Linda yelled a lot and the combination was pretty successful.

We had a picnic the next day, and that was a bit easier. Not so loud anyway. And the bathrooms were accessible to boot. The picnic was at a park and there were lots of activities for kids, so Ellie especially had fun.

This week Linda order a pair of forearm crutches, pink. The just came today, and we've tried them once. They are a bit challenging, so we'll have to practice with them for a while. They're sort of for those places you get to where a wheelchair or walker is hopeless, like Pagliais (a local pizza place in town). We'll probably keep the crutches in the trunk of the car most of the time so we'll have them whenever they are needed. Naturally we don't need them at home.

School starts in a few weeks. Ellie is looking forward to kindergarten, and I'm trying not to think about classes yet in earnest. I do always like the fall though, with that excitement of new students looking for their classes, everything being new.

2007-07-29T10:04:00.000-05:00

Sonorus

Linda and I have both finished the last Harry Potter book, so you are free to talk about what you liked or disliked with us now.

On other news, Ellie can ride her bike without training wheels now. She insisted on having them off (and not just shortening them or something). The first day wasn't very good, but within a day she could already do it and within a couple of days she was getting pretty good. I'm pretty sure I didn't learn so quickly.

2007-07-21T11:41:00.000-05:00

Muffliato

It seems quiet on the internet today. None of my friends seem to be on. I wonder if they are all deep in the 7th Harry Potter book. If my daughter weren't so bored, I certainly would be. As it is, I've had to stop on page 327 to entertain.

2007-07-19T18:57:00.000-05:00

Magical week

We went to Harry Potter this week. This was a kind of big deal for us. Linda and I used to be pretty regular movie-goers, but we don't go so often now. It's just more of a pain. It's kind of expensive. And people are always sitting in the handicap seating. Yes, we could ask them to move, but it's easier just staying home.

But we went, Linda and Ellie and me. It was fun. It had what I liked about book 5 without all the angst. I have to say the angst really got to me with that book, although perhaps a bit less the second time I read it.

We're very excited that the 7th book comes out this weekend. Actually, only Linda and I are excited. Ellie isn't much into novels yet. I offered to read the 1st book to her, but she just isn't interested. I suppose it will happen soon enough though.

On the road

We went to visit my parents this weekend. We encountered our second worst bathroom ever, at a Kentucky Fried Chicken. The most insulting part of it was that there was a blue wheelchair sticker on it. The worst bathroom ever was in a Pizza Hut. It's no surprise perhaps that both stores are owned by Yum! Brands. If this were still a time of duels I'd spit in the board members faces and slap them with a glove. Actually, I've always thought duels were about as stupid as stupid gets, so maybe I'd just spit on them.

Go McDonalds!

$100 goes pretty far

Ellie had perfect attendance at summer school this year, and there is a $100 attendance prize. It comes in the form of a pre-paid Visa. Ellie wanted to buy a scooter, so we got one like this: www.toysrus.com/sm-barbie-aluminum-foldable-scooter--pi-2317763.html

It was so cute. We swiped her card, and I made her sign on the little electronic pad (the card is in her name after all). She felt so grown up. She was almost as excited to get her own receipt as she was to get the scooter.

She's been scooting around the house in our "big room." Yesterday we went to the school and scooted around the parking lot. She was hoping to go scooting at a kids house today, but we couldn't really find any kids who were home tonight. She's pretty tired anyway (hence a big fit commenced) so I'm thinking it is pretty good we stayed home tonight. We'll get some good scooter time in this weekend I'm sure.

2007-07-03T16:05:00.000-05:00

Summer begins

Summer school ended on Friday for Ellie. She had a lot of fun at school. Most nights she was even willing to go to bed at a reasonable time because she knew she had to be up for the bus in the morning. Walking out to the bus turned out to be one of my favorite times of day. Ellie was generally in a good mood, and she tended to share more than at other times of the day.

Friday also ended my summer teaching. I was teaching a 3-week introduction to computer programming, for junior high school students. For the most part, I think it went well. I don't particularly like the discipline aspects of working with junior high students, but they can't be beat for asking questions and participating in discussions.

Some of them also became pretty reasonable programmers. The last project of the term was writing robots that play in a virtual combat arena. I alway write a robot of my own for theirs to fight against, and this time one of the students wrote a robot that could best mine. I was quite impressed by that, and I had to go back and improve mine some (because in something like this, the teacher really should be able to win).

We're now full into summer things. Ellie is doing swimming lessons. She jumped off the diving board today and swam in the deep end. She was impressively good.

Ellie also decided that she wanted to ride her bike without training wheels, so we took them off on Sunday. She wasn't very good, but we tried again last night and she was amazingly better. Several times she was able to ride like 60 feet. I expect we'll try again tonight and she'll have even more control.

Linda is doing well. She's glad to be ignored a bit less. We went to the farmers' market this weekend and we've been sitting out on the porch later in the day. I'll probably have to drag her to the gym here soon though so she doesn't get soft.

2007-06-05T07:41:00.000-05:00

School routine

We've got something of our routine down for summer school. Ellie is clearly enjoying summer school, although she is totally coy about what she does there. I've learned that her teacher's name is Mrs. O'Brien. Three of the boys from pre-school are in her class, and several of the girls from pre-school ride the afternoon bus with her.

About the only thing that Ellie will admit to doing at school is playing outside. I've asked her about drawing (she claims she doesn't), writing (her name or letter and she claims she doesn't), reading. She must be doing something, but she doesn't let on. She is happy to tell us when people in her class have "turned a ticket," which is part of the discipline strategy. I knew to ask about that, because one of Ellie's friends is also tight-lipped about school but always eager to report who got in trouble.

The days seems longer now, because we have to get Ellie up early to catch the bus. I walk her out each morning. At first, she was so excited that she would talk about things they were doing. But now she is mellowing out some, so even when we walk out and wait I can't get much out of her.

Linda's been getting up a bit earlier too, to see Ellie off. At first it was mostly for nothing, because Ellie was to excited to pay attention to anyone but herself. But now that things are getting a bit more ordinary she is talking to Linda again.

2007-05-27T12:01:00.000-05:00

3-week update

Yes, it's been weeks since I've posted. Call it summer vacation if you will.

Linda is happy to have warmer weather. It makes getting around a lot easier if she isn't cold. We still don't go out too often, just because places are hard. But we've been getting to the gym off and on, we went to coffee shop recently.

We've all been outside more lately. I put a couple of roses in the yard. They're tiny now, but will presumably become sizable and fragrant. They've gone for a couple of weeks and haven't died, so I expect that as long as I remember to water them semi-regularly that they'll do well. I also dug up an oak tree from the pasture and transplanted it. It hasn't died yet, although I expect it to look weary for a while.

Linda often sits out with us, as long as she isn't too tired. I had to rehang her porch swing since a nasty wind blew it over and lost the hooks, but it is solid now. We've been working on strategies for her to get into and out of the swing without assistance. Actually getting to the swing is no problem, it is getting out that is challenging. In a pinch, she could crawl (across the concrete) but that's kind of a drag.

Ellie and I have hiked in the pasture several times. The ticks are bad, and the grass is getting to tall for Ellie, so we're probably done for a while until it comes time to cut hay. We found what looks like blackberry vines, but they haven't set their fruit yet. I'll have to go back and check, now that it has rained some, and see if they are coming along.

Ellie finished pre-school last week. She is going to do pre-kindergarten summer school in June at the public school. She is really excited about that, especially about riding the bus. That will be an adjustment for her, because she'll have to get up early. I mentioned what time the bus comes a few days ago, and she got all serious, "I'm not going to like getting up that early."

Otherwise, we've just been doing regular summer stuff. The dryer was squeeking, so we had it repaired. I've been upgrading computers at work since no one is using them heavily right now and it will be minimally inconvenient. I've been working on some extra projects. We've done a lot of reading. I'll be teaching again in a couple of weeks, so I'm really trying not to stress out too much during the off time.

2007-05-04T22:35:00.000-05:00

I'm rich

I'm reading Naked Economics by Charles Wheelan. Over the last year I found somewhat accidentally that I enjoy financial books in general, but I'm actually reading this one to prepare for a class I'm teaching in the fall. Don't let anyone tell you that teachers don't have homework.

Economics is particularly nonintuitive, and usually pretty interesting. But sometimes it is just fun. Consider this (long) quote:

David Blanchflower and Andrew Oswald, economists at Dartmouth and the University of Warwick, respectively, have found that a lasting marriage is worth $100,000 a year, since married people report being as happy, on average, as divorced (and not remarried) individuals who have incomes that are $100,000 higher. So, before you go to bed tonight, be sure to tell your spouse that you would not give him or her up for anything less than $100,000 a year.

You can see by that measure I'm really packin' it in.

2007-05-03T16:17:00.000-05:00

Cornucopia of creatures

We have ducks today. Ducks and butterflies, actually. For Christmas, Ellie received a butterfly set. You send off for caterpillers, watch them eat for about a week, watch them pupate for about a week. Today the adult butterflies emerged from their chrysalises. We are feeding 5 painted lady butterflies a diet of sugar water for the next day or two before we release them outside.

The ducks came from school. Last year they had a lamb a school which you could check out overnight. This year there was a set of ducklings and a set of chicks. We checked out the ducks today, so with the butterflies, there is a lot to keep a girl busy.

As if that weren't enough. In the pre-4H club, they are checking out chicks. So tomorrow we take the ducklings back to school, but we bring home some chicks. You can keep your chicks for 2 weeks if you like, but we've worked out an arrangement to keep them for 4 days and then take them to a local farm.

Hide the cat

Ellie has been very concerned about Kate, our cat. If you are going to have duckling and chicks around the house, you have to be careful that the cat doesn't make lunch of them. What Ellie hasn't realized is that we gave Kate away a week ago. She's been living at Aunt Mary's house since Friday. So we can have butterflies, ducks, chicks, and there's no danger of any of them being eaten.

When we got rid of the cat, Linda and I discussed how long it would be before Ellie noticed. We figured it would either take at least a week, or she would know somehow instantly. Ellie has gone looking for Kate a couple of times, and I thought the game was up. But each time she becomes distracted and forgets about it. Of course the first time we go to Mary's and Kate is there, there will be no hiding it. Of course I'll be able to say, "You didn't notice the cat was gone for a whole month." I expect a tantrum anyway.

2007-04-26T09:26:00.000-05:00

Freak the Mighty

I've discovered something about my daughter Ellie. She likes scary stories. A friend recently lent us a scary story called Coraline, and Ellie sat through it well even though it was more advanced than the books we usually read.

Ellie has had less patience for reading with me, so I decided to take advantage of my new insight. We read The Monkey's Paw, which is really really advanced. I'm not kidding; there were like 8 words I had to look up in the dictionary myself to explain them to her. Even Linda didn't know the meaning of about half of the words I had to look up.

We are currently reading Freak the Mighty. Linda had it. She has shelves of just really excellent young adult and children's books. I had read this one, but I'd forgotten just how good it is. I'm really impressed. The language is so normal, I don't even feel like I'm reading a book; I'm just telling a story, just talking. Ellie is liking it, and she hasn't even complained that there aren't any pictures.

Tidbits

Linda is still enjoying her new walker. It's the end of semester, and things are getting busy. We had a party (for computer geeks) last night, but it was fun. Somehow geeks seem to attract cool spouses, so there were people for Linda to talk to who didn't want to mention computers. There are lots of social things coming up in the next two weeks. Then the social environment turns to dust. It happens every vacation period, so we're expecting it.

2007-04-21T12:55:00.000-05:00

Free

Linda is getting rid of her cat, Kate. She's fixed but not declawed and about 12 years old and healthy. You can email Linda (address at the left) if you want her.

2007-04-16T09:02:00.000-05:00

Walker update

It's been a week now I guess with the new walker. Linda likes it, and is using it all of the time. It doesn't fit in the trunk of the car as well as our old walker, but I manage. I'm not sure what we'll do if we want to take a wheelchair and a walker somewhere. We may have to just use the old walker for things like that because it folds down smaller.

2007-04-12T13:26:00.000-05:00

New Lexus

Linda got a new walker on Monday. We spent the day in Columbia, since Truman was closed and Ellie had school. We picked up the walker and took it over to Rusk for practice. Nowhere is easier than Rusk, so if the walker had been too hard there, we'd have known it was too hard.

But it wasn't too hard. It was interesting at first, but Linda soon came to feel more comfortable with it than her regular walker. She felt like she walked better. She said that back when we were at Rusk, one of the other patients described a new electric as his "new Lexus." So that is what Linda called her walker.

We took it to the gym today; our first try there. It was different on the track, and more challenging. We've got a different strategy for the next time we go.

If you'd like to see what her walker looks like, they sell them at Amazon.com: picture. It's very blue.

2007-04-06T02:32:00.000-05:00

Flashing lights

Linda woke me up to ask me about lights flashing on the ceiling. It turns out there were 6 police cars and an ambulance parked on the road in front of our house and a roaring fire on the other side of the road. I have no idea what happened, but while we watched 3 more police cars and another ambulance arrived.

Then the firetruck arrived. There's a lesson. Clearly we never want to have a fire, because they are obviously the slow responders.

It looks like things are winding down. I just watched a couple of the police cars pull out and drive away.

Update

I walked out this morning, and the fire last night was a car that flipped over in the ditch. The driver was nowhere to be found, so apparently survived intact enough to walk away or get a ride from someone into town.

At school I mentioned it to someone I knew was a volunteer responder, and he naturally knew something about it. He said the first car on the scene was the police and the 2nd car on the scene was a fireman. He also mentioned that most fires can be controlled with 5 gallons of water or less, and that the fire was contained (and burned itself out) well before the firetruck arrived.

2007-04-03T22:21:00.000-05:00

All abuzz

For about a week, I've had a buzzing in my right ear. It sounds sort of like cello or string bass playing 2 octaves below middle C. I went to the doctor, and she says my ears are full of water (on the inside). From allergies I suppose, but it seems to be taking a long time to improve and my allergies don't seem that bad. It doesn't usually hurt, and it is often very quiet and unobtrusive. There's generally enough white noise at work that I don't hear it much.

In fact for a couple of days, I thought there was just some new noise at home. Like construction equipment being run over the hill somewhere and only the low frequencies carried to my house. I was tempted to throw all of the circuit breakers in the house to see if something in the house was making the noise, but Linda convinced me that it was all in my head. Apparently it really was.

Ahh, warmth

Linda is enjoying the warm weather. Actually she was enjoying the warm weather until it turned cold today. That chill blast really made us realize how nice the weather had been.

2007-03-23T15:41:00.000-05:00

Light as a feather

I got another call from the hospital's collection agency yesterday. I wasn't home to take it, but there was a message on the machine. I figured the last 60 day period must have come up (i.e. since I wrote my last appeal letter to the insurance company). You know how collectors are, I wasn't particularly looking forward to talking to them. But you can usually keep them at bay as long as you are working on the bill and expecting to make progress.

So I emailed my benefits coordinator this morning and asked him to check with our regional representative. I told him the collectors were calling and I was going to need something tangible to tell them.

He got back to me pretty fast, within a couple of hours (although I didn't check the exact time of the email). My claim was finally approved and sent for payment on Tuesday, and all I owe is my 20%. Finally. I'm a good sport about these things, so I went over to the hospital and paid my 20% this afternoon, now that I know the numbers are correct.

It is so nice knowing that I have no medical bills in limbo. I'm not even sure when the last time I could say that was. I'd be almost perfectly light except that in my mailbox was a letter from the collection agency dated Monday and saying, "We have been notified by your insurance company that your clam has been rejected. We ask that you send payment in full."

Dishonesty just takes some of the fun out of life. If the insurance company sent my account for payment on Tuesday, I don't see how it could have been rejected on Monday. That's why you never give an inch to collection agencies. They'll say anything to get money out of you.

Dishonest people don't deserve to thrive.

2007-03-22T21:24:00.001-05:00

Spring

People who wax poetic about spring do not have allergies.

2007-03-19T23:22:00.000-05:00

Cool things to do with Dad

I was going to mention this before. Last Tuesday, I took Ellie outside to see an Iridium flare. This is when one of the Iridium satellites catches the sun and reflects it brightly. You can actually see these during the day, although we went out a bit after dark. I told Ellie we were going to see a "space ship" and told her it would look like a star.

We went out a few minutes before and started looking north. It was a really bright one, and lasted about 10 seconds. I have no idea if she was impressed or not. I've been meaning to take her out to see the International Space Station, but every time I check it is going over at 6am or something.

You too can watch space ships fly over. Check the schedule at www.heavens-above.com.

2007-03-19T22:21:00.000-05:00

Don's mini-revolution in dental hygiene

Ellie and I were brushing our teeth tonight, and she mentioned that it isn't fair that I'm tall enough to see in the mirror when she can't. I didn't want to get her footstool because she has a habit of leaving it in Linda's way. So I offered to brush my teeth with my eyes closed.

Your dentist can tell you that everyone has certain places that they tend to go light with the toothbrush. In fact, your dentist can probably tell if you're right- or left-handed from where you get plaque. I think I may keep brushing my teeth with my eyes closed, because I immediately noticed where I wasn't giving proper attention.

You'll have to try it and see if you think you brush your teeth better with your eyes closed. I checked Google to see if this is just one of those things that everyone knows, but nothing obvious popped up.

2007-03-17T21:54:00.000-05:00

Quiet night

Ellie is having a sleepover tonight. She never ever stops talking, unless she is watching a movie, and either way she is essentially a noise source. So Linda and I are quietly reading tonight sans noise. I'm sure Ellie is enjoying the evening too, although by now she should probably be in bed (except with her you never really know for sure).

On Thursday Linda had another first at the gym. She walked the track twice, about 200 yards total. She did the first lap in a bit under 15 minutes. Then we rested and she walked the second lap a bit more slowly. It's the first time that she's done two full laps. Although the track would seem like the easiest of surfaces, being designed for walking, it is actually quite challenging. When you get to the curves at the ends, it is sloped into the curve and that is hard.

It is possibly not the farthest she's walked in a go, because we don't have a good measure of some of the surfaces we do on campus in the summer. But it is definitely the farthest at the gym.

2007-03-07T15:43:00.000-06:00

Scary stories

It's been a long time since I read regularly to Ellie. We used to do it pretty much every night, but then she got kind of bored with it. We've tried a few different things, but nothing really held her attention as well as I would like.

This week I was lent a copy of Coraline and I suggested it. I told her it was kind of scary and implied she might not be up to it, because I thought it would capture her imagination. It has. The book has almost no pictures in it (I believe people like Linda refer to those as "chapter" books), but we've kept with it anyway, to the tune of more than 100 pages so far.

Maybe we'll have to look at Goosebumps books next...

2007-03-06T21:06:00.000-06:00

Week of recovery

It's spring break, and it's time to recover. Linda's mom died last week. She found out about a month ago that she had cancer, and that was a shock. It was advanced and essentially non-treatable and did its work quickly. Linda was a stunned as everyone, but happier that it was pretty quick rather than drawn out (more than it was).

It did mean a lot of traveling and a lot of visiting and family. We drove to Linda's parent's house twice last week, early in the week and again later in the week. At the visitation there were scores of people; family, friends from church, old family friends, friends from school. Many hadn't seen Linda in 10 years, and definitely not since her stroke. So lots of people wanted to visit with her.

A year ago I don't think she could have done that much talking. She says it will take a month to recover her energy. We'll see.

When everyone eats lunch together

Ellie was particularly excited to go to school today. When I asked her about it, she said it is because there is all-day day care during midterm break. That means that the preschool kids and the kindergarten kids all eat lunch together. Ellie has a lot of friends in kindergarten, so this is a big plus in her book.

2007-02-21T22:21:00.000-06:00

Witnessing about pontine strokes

Linda and I met another couple today, like us but reversed. The husband has had a stroke like Linda's, and they are still early in the recovery process. From 2-3pm this afternoon, his wife and son asked us questions about Linda experiences. Being at the beginning, they naturally have a lot of work ahead of them. They were fascinated by how well Linda has done, getting a glimpse of a possible future. It was nice to be able to do a good turn for the next person.

Linda had her 6 month checkup. They seemed pleased with how she is doing. We'll be back in another 6 months.

2007-02-21T06:19:00.000-06:00

Tears wash out your eyes

Ellie has pink eye, so I'll be taking her to the doc today as soon as I can get her in. Her class has a field trip to a petting zoo today, and she doesn't know yet, but she won't be able to go. She has to spend the day with Dad.

Knowing there would be disappointments like this made me reluctant to ever have kids in the first place.

In other news, Ellie has learned to play tic-tac-toe. She knows the best place to put your X is in the center square. Luckily Dad knows the ins and outs of the game and isn't of a ruthless character. She hasn't guessed yet that the game is pointless because with good players no one ever wins.

Naturally I've been trying to help her see that there are strategies you can employ to clobber the other 5-year-olds when they don't play optimally. That's what dads are for.

2007-02-16T20:01:00.000-06:00

Is it vanity

At Hy Vee today they were obvious trying to clear one kind of hair conditioner off the shelf because it was discounted and all of the bottles around it were the same higher price. I looked at it, and it said that it accents blond highlights. So I bought it for Ellie. Is it vanity to buy something like that if it isn't really for yourself? I don't personally use conditioner since I discovered I'm allergic to some shampoos--better just avoided.

Missed opportunity

One of my friends said I always talk about my money successes but never mention my mistakes. I discovered when computing my tax return (and I do get a return) that with a bit of planning last year, and at no real inconvenience to myself, I could have boosted my return by $1000.

And I don't mean the kind of money that comes from IRA contributions (there you just reduce your tax now only to pay it later). I mean $1000 real dollars; just less tax paid. Ahh well. I'm prepared for next year.

Happy Valentine's Day

I don't believe in Valentine's day. But I bought some candy on sale today. I believe in candy.

2007-02-11T12:04:00.000-06:00

Road trip

Ellie had a sleepover with a friend last night so I could be driver for a student road trip to Columbia, Mo. We had dinner (my first time at Chipotle) then made our way to Cherry Street Artisan to watch a bellydance troupe give a performance. Some of the dancing was really great, some of it was down right weird, but mostly it was fun.

Ellie had a great time at her sleepover, and naturally there were tears when she had to come home. But she seems to have recovered and is contentedly engaged in a movie now.

Anniversary time

Yes, Wednesday the 7th was the three-year anniversary of Linda's stroke. But we prefer to remember that tomorrow is the 18th anniversary of our first date. That makes me think to calculate: in about 4 months, I'll have been dating Linda more of my life than I haven't been dating her. (Hint, you can estimate my age from this information). I think we're going to go out for lunch.

2007-02-02T22:13:00.000-06:00

Gotta take that kid to Iowa

When I stopped at school to pick up Ellie, the classroom had a delightfully buttery smell. The teacher told me they had had popcorn this afternoon. When I caught Ellie's attention, she held up a blue cup and told me the same thing, "We had popcorn today, and I got to keep some of the seeds. We can plant them in the garden and make corn trees." I nodded and smiled and told her that when I grew up on the farm, we grew popcorn too.

Sick

I've had a cold all week. Every day I think I'll feel better tomorrow and I don't. Except today, I think maybe I do feel better than yesterday. That's probably just as well, since it isn't so easy to go to the doctor on a weekend.

Life didn't get less busy so I could be sick. The computers at work have been giving minor fits. For the most part, I've been able to keep that from being noticed by the users, so I guess it's not been too bad. But it takes extra time when things go wrong. Of course you try to fix the problems, but when possible I try to make it so I get a "heads up" a bit before problems start. It's nicer if there's no "next time."

Cold

I suppose I don't have to mention how cold it is. Linda is staying in for the most part, although we did go out earlier in the week to buy a towel bar. It was her first trip to the Kirksville Home Depot. She was kind of bored, although in principle she likes the store. It's more a matter of she likes to look at different things than I do.

Still, Linda especially will be happy to see warmer weather. She's a lot slower when it is colder.

2007-01-25T21:23:00.000-06:00

Ellie, child prodigy

Ellie informed me a few days ago that she can burp whenever she wants to. She was happy to demonstrate in case I was skeptical. That clinches it. She's smart. I didn't learn how to do that until I was 7 years old, I had to ask people what caused burps first, and it turned out to be a particular skill of mine. She's got me beat by 2 years without help.

Ellie, geek

Ellie has been asking to use the computer lately. Linda suggested that I dig out an old mostly-broken laptop and let her type on it, so that's what I did. Last night, Ellie was clicking away when she discovered that the Enter key brings the cursor back to the left of the screen. She said, "Wow, that key let's me get my work done MUCH faster."

Indeed.

When it was time for bed, she was in earnest. "Wait Dad. I just have to send Gracy two more emails."

2007-01-22T23:21:00.000-06:00

What it feels like to be Linda

Linda reminded me recently of a story that an old friend once told us. Our friend had been traveling overseas. On her trip she had enjoyed some hot baths. She described the water as deep enough to stand in, and so hot you could hardly bear to get in.

Of course over time, you adjust to the heat. Our friend said that the other people left the bath, but it was so relaxing that she stayed longer. By the time she decided to get out, she had waited too long. The water was so hot she had no strength left. She was alone, and scared, not sure that she could get out.

Obviously she lived to tell us about it. She dragged herself clumsily out of the pool, crawling away from the heat until she could recover.

Linda says that is a pretty good description of how she feels. It doesn't get at the whole thing (like tone), but it captures a real element of her experience. It's why when she crawls to the TV to put on a movie, sometimes she tips on her face; getting overbalanced and not having the strength or the quickness to right herself. Her body is slower and weaker than it should be.

2007-01-21T10:42:00.000-06:00

Hurray, it,s snowing

Ellie was especially exited to look out the window this morning and see that it has been snowing all night. We never got an appropriate chance to play in the ice that we had last week. Ice isn't that much fun anyway; snow is better. The weather is supposed to turn to sleet this afternoon. So after I make some breakfast for Linda, Ellie and I are going to dash out for some play while it is still beautiful and white.

2007-01-19T13:16:00.000-06:00

Settling in

I couldn't believe when I looked that my last post was last year. Obviously school has started. I'm keeping busy with class and meetings and computer work. I'm also finishing up a few projects that I began over the break.

Ellie is doing well. She was excited by the snow that turned out really to be ice, and not as much fun. She's had some friends to play a few times, and is always desperate to have sleep-overs.

Linda doesn't like the cold, which is harder for her than for most of us. We skipped her workout last week when it was very icy, but we went this week. She is using her computer in the livingroom today, because there always seems to be a draft in the family room. She gets tired of being cold.

All in all, we are doing the same things we always do.

2006-12-30T15:40:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas

It's true that I don't get my Christmas cards out on time. Actually, what's true is that I don't send cards, or at least I almost never send cards. I'm not really a card person. If you are going to hear from me on paper, it will be a letter, and it will be written in my own hand. In fact, I would go so far as to say it will be written in my own fairly attractive handwriting (attractive for a guy especially).

Still, I suppose I could have at least updated the blog before now. Since it isn't yet New Year's, technically I'm not that late, so here's the update.

We stayed home for Christmas. Ellie went to her grandmother's for a couple of days before, but was back by the 24th. In Linda's family, they always opened gifts on Christmas morning, and that's what we do now.

Naturally, the 5-year-old was the recipient of most of the things under the tree. A day or two before, she asked me if I thought Santa would bring me a lot of things. I told her, "No. I yell too much."

She responded, "Yeah." But she assured me that Santa would bring me something anyway.

We did in fact get a lot of movies this year. Ellie also got a few toys she especially desired. It was a lucky thing that one of her friends had a birthday party in November, as Ellie was ever so helpful pointing out especially desirable things at the store. To be honest, I was a bit skeptical that she would actually play with a few of the things that she wanted, but I was pleasantly wrong in that regard. She has played with pretty much everything.

2006-12-23T19:29:00.000-06:00

Counting down

Ahh, only 2 days until Christmas. Thankfully, I sent Ellie off to her grandmother's for the day. She'll be back tomorrow. I used the time to wrap presents. I had my shopping essentially done since before Thanksgiving; I was so industrious. But I put off the wrapping until the last moment.

We're trying to enjoy the break. No evening grading, and no test writing, and no lecture preparation. I've taken all of the time I want to read about geeky things on the internet. I've even tackled a small geek project, building a solar stove, something I've wanted to do for several years. Essentially this is a big reflector that focuses a bunch of sunlight in one place. Then you paint a canning jar black and put it there where it proceeds to get hot, along with its contents.

Ellie and I cooked rice in it yesterday to see if it would work. It worked. Not bad for the winter solstice. There's less sun this time of year than any other time of year, so cooking is slower than it will be in the spring, summer, or fall. Now I'm inspired. I'm making plans to build a parabolic cooker next, because they are more efficient. I've got a pretty spartan set of directions, but they aren't anything a mathematician shouldn't be able to decipher.

Other geek projects that I haven't tackled yet include building a bumblebee habitat (Linda's not too keen on that one), and building a circuit that can generate "real" random numbers. I'd also like to make a circuit that can create new ROMs for devices like DVD players. That way I could rewrite the brains of the DVD player and add desirable features like "you may skip the FBI warning if you want, because it is your DVD player and your DVD."

Of course those other geek projects will have to wait for the future.

2006-12-19T17:42:00.000-06:00

It's over

I turned in my last grade today, so for me the semester is finally over. Now to do some of those things that get neglected when school is in session.

2006-12-16T10:31:00.000-06:00

Semester end

It's finally that time. I'm still grading of course. Ellie is watching Batman. Sometime I have to take time to write yet another letter to my insurance company.

Ellie had her Christmas concert on Thursday night. Linda didn't go because the Lutheran church is really hard. They have a gravel parking lot, so it is hard getting in. And they don't have an elevator in the (empty) elevator shaft, so she can't go downstairs. And she's too short to see anyway, so she spends the whole time looking at the back of people's heads anyway.

However, the local TV station records the concert and will record a DVD for you, so I brought a DVD-R in for that. Ellie was really cute this year (as opposed to last year when she was just totally random and had a hard time staying in control).

Linda and I still go to the gym once a week, although this week there was no nurse working so she couldn't exercise. They are very cautious and want to get Linda's blood pressure for the so many visits. It's a little annoying, given that she worked out exactly the same way in exactly the same gym with a therapist for two years now. Supposedly the rule is changing next January. Since we couldn't work out we went to the store instead, and that was nice too.

2006-12-03T12:26:00.000-06:00

I'm watching you

Ellie tells her dad to keep hands off the cat: "If I come home and Kate's dead, and you killed her, I'm going to be really mad."

2006-12-03T11:08:00.000-06:00

Movie night

I picked up a Steven Spielberg movie on Friday, so we could all watch together. Ever since, Ellie has been running around the house saying, "E.T. phone home," over and over. Sometimes she talks like E.T. which is especially cute because she sounds exactly like him.

Yesterday, Ellie and I went out to play in the snow. Ellie was determined to make snowmen, but the snow wasn't really packable. In the end we had to compromise and make snow E.T.s since they don't have to be so tall. I found a couple of sticks with a single split to make two-fingered hands. They really look pretty cute.

This morning Ellie has the movie on again. I think I'll be glad to take it back to the library myself. I'm starting to wear out on soaring John Williams music.

2006-11-28T12:03:00.000-06:00

Man of steel

I'm working on insurance problems again. You have to be like iron when dealing with this kind of stuff, but today they really got under my skin. The only way I've been able to make progress has been to go over to the hospital, sit down with the account person and wait with them on hold with the insurance company. That way when the insurance folks say misleading or incorrect things, I am there to get the matter back on track.

They were so screwed up today that I was embarrassed for them. At first. Then I was angry, and I'm usually pretty calm about these things. You have to outlast them if you want to get paid. If you get stressed and have a heart attack and die, you lose, because you don't get paid.

But today was insane. First they said we hadn't made an appeal. Except that we made appeals on two claims together. We talked about one, then we talked about the other. I followed up in writing, and listed both claims in my letter. They reevaluated one, but forgot to process the other.

Then they said they didn't have the records they need. Only I had the records mailed to them a month ago, everything they should need, and we had the mailing dates; it was a file too thick to fax. Ten or fifteen minutes on hold, and "John" reported that yes, they did actually have the records all along.

Then it's going to take 30-60 days to process. The hospital was pretty frustrated at this and pressed, since we have been working on this account since July 26th. Ah well, it could actually be handled in 7 days.

The description I would apply to the situation: malicious incompetence.

Still, if you last long enough and don't die you can win, and I still expect things to work out. I've tried to think if I have done anything "wrong" in my appeal, and the only thing I can think of is this. I referred to two claims in the same letter since they were nearly identical and from adjacent months. It could be (in their incompetence) that they filed my letter with one claim and then neglected the other. In the future, I'll refer to only one claim per sheet of paper and just write two letters with the same information to be safe.

Add that to my "lessons on dealing with insurance companies" I guess.

Home for Thanksgiving

2006-11-24T22:32:00.000-06:00

We stayed in town for Thanksgiving, and some friends brought their kids over. We did the usual things. We had more food that you shuold reasonably eat. Then we sat around and played board games on the floor. The games of choice were mancala and checkers, although there was a reasonable dose of running around acting crazy too.

Today we stayed at home, waiting for FedEx to deliver a package. I find FedEx a real pain if they miss a delivery. Since they aren't local, you can't have them hold a package for pickup. It's just best to be at home when things arrive. I prefer UPS for that reason, or even the plain old mail, when I have the choice.

Tonight we watched "While You Were Sleeping," one of the best Christmas movies ever. We pretty much watch it every year. Tomorrow I have to go to the library with Ellie. We lost a movie, and I finally found it yesterday. I had them mark it "lost" but I want to take it back before they replace it and make me pay for it.

Trying out Flock

2006-11-22T22:35:00.000-06:00

One thing about free software people like me; we like to tinker. Since most of our software doesn't cost money, there's not so much to keep you from trying something out to see if it is nice. I ran across a web browser call Flock (www.flock.com) that is basically my favorite web browser with extra integration for blogging.

I clicked something, and it popped up a window for me to "Blog this." So here I am typing, and we'll see if the magic works when I hit "Publish." Just so you know, if you can read this it worked.

2006-11-22T13:39:00.000-06:00

All covered

Ellie got her flu vaccination this morning, so as soon as it takes (I suppose a week or so) we should all be covered as well as we can be for the season. Ellie gets a live virus vaccine, which they spray up her nose, since it would be hard to talk her into getting a shot. Immunity lasts for 12 months instead of 9 for the shot, so we had to wait until today to get the booster. She was immunized last year on November 22 also.

2006-11-20T22:18:00.000-06:00

Shopping

Linda and I went shopping last week. She needed new jeans, and the JC Penny in town doesn't carry the kind she likes any more. So we made a trip to Columbia and went to the mall.

I've been reading lots of great things about JC Penny lately in the stock-market press. But personally, I don't see why they think this is such a great retailer. Their stores just don't seem that nice. All of the merchandise is arranged too close together so it is hard to get around the store, especially with a wheelchair. We had to ask to find a handicap accessible changing room, and then it didn't even have a grab bar.

I don't think it should take a PhD to realize that if you have a wheel chair, you might want a bar to hold on to for changing clothes. As it is, I had to help Linda. Lame lame lame.

I already thought JC Penny was lame. I once saw a curtain rod that I liked in Columbia, but it was too long to put in the car and haul home. So I tried to buy it at the Penny's here. Nope, they don't carry it. I'm thinking, no problem. I'll order it from the catalog. No can do. The catalog carries different merchandise than the stores.

Now maybe, I've been using the internet too long because I think that ought to be in capital letters. WHAT KIND OF COMPANY CARRIES MERCHANDISE IN THEIR BRICK-AND-MORTAR STORES THAT YOU CAN'T BUY ONLINE FROM THEIR CATALOG?

My prayer/curse for JC Penny. May the internet kill you swiftly and painlessly.

2006-11-13T18:52:00.000-06:00

Yea, for me.

Today I got a letter from the insurance company. They've finally paid their portion (about $800) for Linda's physical and occupational therapy from back in July. I've been getting collection letters over this account for about a month or so, so I'm pretty happy to see it resolved. It also means that the bills from June ought to be resolved any time now as well.

I'm so pleased, I think I may go over to the billing office at the hospital and pay the rest of the bill in person. I had to go over in person once already to get it straightened out. Soon we'll all be friends in the billing office.

2006-11-10T15:59:00.000-06:00

Conversations at 10pm

Ellie came from bed one day this week when she was supposed to be asleep. "I had a bad dream."

I asked her if she wanted to sit on my lap for a few minutes while I read some web pages, and she was OK with that. I said, "Yeah, bad dreams happen sometimes."

She told me very matter-of-fact, "Sometimes they don't get caught in your dream catcher."

Indeed.

2006-11-09T08:53:00.000-06:00

FYI on CapitalOne

Just in case you are looking at advertisements and thinking about getting one of those CapitalOne No Hassle cash credit cards, I thought I'd let you know mine's actually been a lot of hassle.

First, I'm pretty sure it is actually designed to be a hassle. When you go to the web site for bill payment and old statements and so on, there are no links to redeem your cash rewards. To actually claim your rewards, you have to realize this and type in a special web address that is printed on your statement. You have to make a separate account in the rewards system, and you claim your rewards there. Maybe not a hassle exactly, but if your trademark is "No Hassle cash" I don't think that really meets the bar.

But for me it has been a real hassle, because the rewards system has lost my account information. I noticed it last month when I could no longer login to the rewards system. So I called CapitalOne, who verified that I have a No Hassle cash account (just like it says right on my card). They transferred me to the rewards folks, who seem to be a separate group. The rewards folks proceeded to inform me that I had no such account, but they took down my information and promised to straighten it out with CapitalOne.

It's been a couple of weeks, and the web page doesn't work for me yet. So I called again this morning. The CapitalOne phone system assures me that I have $71 in rewards to be claimed, and again the rewards folks have no idea and are calling supervisors. I'm a little put out, because I could have been earning points on my Amazon.com visa card and frankly this is getting to be quite a hassle.

There are so many cards that offer rewards and most of them really are no hassle. I think some ought to slap CapitalOne for being stupid and take their trademark away.

2006-11-04T21:18:00.000-06:00

Busy Saturday

We kept quite busy today. This morning, we went to the courthouse to vote absentee since a busy polling place is a bit hard for Linda. We voted for justice, freedom, and the American way. Now we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Elie was invited to a birthday party this afternoon. It was a princess party, so we dressed her up and met about dozen other princesses for games and cake and presents. Ellie was delightfully well-behaved. I was surprised how good she was at Miss Pacman. I am better at it than when I was a kid, but I don't think at 5 I would have had much skill.

Oh, you know how it is. Kids are so skilled these days.

2006-11-03T23:51:00.000-06:00

New management

Yeah, so Linda's takeover of the blog didn't last so long. She's not really a computer person anyway.

It's been a crushingly busy week this week, or I might have updated things. Tests to write, tests to grade. Extra committee meetings (and preparatory work).

One little island of quiet came in the middle. Linda and I went on a date last night. It was really for Ellie. I had promised Ellie a babysitter some time ago, and it was time to make good on the promise. So I arranged for her favorite babysitter to come over and make cookies with her.

Linda and I went out. We'd been together during the day (although I was working so it doesn't count quite the same), so we didn't have a whole lot of talking and catching up to do. Linda can't talk all that much when she eats anyway or she coughs a lot. But we had a nice time anyway. We don't get out all that often, and getting out without Ellie is truly rare.

Poo-pooing physical therapy

Linda decided to enroll at the fitness center this week. Basically she wants a place where she can walk the track once or twice a week, not surrounded by beautiful people. We went on Tuesday, and again on Thursday. She's a bit out of practice because we've not done as much recently, but I suppose it went fine. It's definitely work for her.

She probably won't go back to PT unless she wants to work on some specific skill. The part of PT Linda found the most useful at the end was walking anyway, and we can do that on our own. Since an hour with the PT pays for a year's membership at the gym, it's a lot cheaper too. And Linda kind of likes being more in charge of her program.

So I guess you could say she's graduated, or perhaps more accurately that she has decided to graduate.

2006-10-19T11:19:00.000-05:00

Hey! Get your flu shots.

It's that time of year, and the first vaccines are coming in. So do yourself a favor and go get a flu shot. And get your kids vaccinated too. I plan to have Ellie do the flu mist, guessing that she's only 5 and wouldn't like a shot. I can't believe that the schools don't promote this more. They are all over the other vaccinations, and make a big deal about keeping your kids home when they are sick. And why exactly do we think December through March is flu season? Maybe because we all travel around on Thanksgiving and Christmas exchanging bugs which the kids are happy to spread around at school.

If you don't get the flu shot, then: When it's the middle of January and your suffering from chills and fever and a massive sinus headache that lingers on for 2 weeks as "the crud," ask yourself, wouldn't it have been better in October to have spent that $20 (that your insurance probably catches for you anyway) and get a quick shot that might not even have hurt? Would you pay $20 to make the symptoms vanish when you have them?

I know the vaccinations don't always take, and sometimes the strain is different than what was in the shot. Fine. Ask yourself, would you spend $20 on a 50/50 chance that your symptoms would go away?

More advertising

Since I'm advetising, Curtain Call Theater is doing Dracula this month. We're not in it, but we know a lot of people who are. I don't know what it costs, but I do know that it is playing at the round barn on October 26, 27, 28, and 31.

2006-10-17T15:37:00.000-05:00

Just Sitting Around at Home

I was just sitting around, twiddling my thumbs (didn't know I could twiddle, did you?) and decided to watch the movie 'An Affair to Remember,' with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr - you know, the one where they meet on the ship, fall in love, then promise to meet in six months time at the top of The Empire State Building in New York, only she is staring up at the top of the building while she's on her way to meet him, and there's the hint that she's hit by a car... Long story short, she doesn't show up because she can't... then, much later, the two meet again by chance, and it's Christmas, and his grandmother left a shawl for her when the grandmother died... To make a long story short, he finds her in her apartment, stretched out on the couch with a blanket over her legs, no wheelchair in sight, and he has to figure out what's happened to her... And all the time, I'm sitting there, watching this movie, seeing them go through the motions of their first meeting in ... what? A year?... and all I can think is that she's there, on the couch, there's no wheelchair, and she can't walk... What the heck does she do if she has to use the bathroom? Is she supposed to crawl there?

Isn't it weird what you think while watching the climax scene of a movie?

2006-10-10T10:17:00.000-05:00

Excuses, Excuses

I had to wake up early today, on a day that I usually get to sleep in on, because Don had a student coming to his office to take a make-up exam. I have no idea if the student remembered to show up or not... I only recall that when I was a college professor and a student made a very early appointment to come to my office, the student often overslept. He or she often apologized later... well, 'apologized' is a relative term. I started rembering when I heard about Don's make-up test, and that got me thinking that in the great wide world of students and parents, probably very few know one important detail of any apology... Know this; when apologizing for missing class or missing an office appointment, you would be surprised how often a student then gives the excuse that the reason he or she missed is because their grandparent died. Now, I realize that this truth is certainly not humorous in any way... except one... This excuse has been used so often that it has been overused, to the extent that it is automatically disbelieved the minute it leaves a students' mouth... Whether it is true or not, the point is that any student who has missed class or an apppointment needs to come up with a better excuse than 'my grandma/grandpa died.' This is a little known secret that finally needs to be shared. Students should give other, more imaginative, excuses, as most professors have already heard this one before.

So, what's the best excuse I ever got during the three years that I taught college? You won't belive this, but once a student told me that he or she had to leave class early because the UPS office was holding a package for him or her, and the office is only open from 4:00 till 5:00, so he or she was going to have to leave class early in order to pick up the package. But there you go, hands down, the winner of three years worth of excuse after excuse after excuse... Professors have heard it all...

2006-10-06T15:26:00.000-05:00

TECHNOLOGY

The rant of the day (isn't there always a rant of the day?) has to go to technology. And by 'technology,' I don't mean your TV, your push-a-button-to-activate-it oven, or your stereo... I mean your computer. Specifically, email programs. Here's the story.... I recently changed email programs because whenever I was writing a loooong reply to a letter, and meant to make a correction, I inevitably hit the wrong sequence of keys, and ended up erasing the entire letter. This happened so often (I know, it was really all my fault, and I knew that, but... Should an entire letter be deleted just because my brain writes faster than my fingers can type?) that I decided to see if other email programs were set up in a similar fashion (where one wrong keystroke can erase the entire message). While using a new program that I had decided to try, and sending a reply to a friend in high school who had contacted me about our class reunion, I did something very similar (my brain went faster than my hands) and, not once, but TWICE, deleted everything that I had typed thus far. Now, I enjoy the benefits of email as much as the next person, but this habit of mine to hit wrong keys in the wrong sequences is most irritating. However, I no longer have to wonder why I'm still stuck on the actual feel of a good book in my hands instead of having an ebook on my palm pilot... At least the book won't suddenly disappear without notice!

2006-09-30T19:40:00.000-05:00

Oktoberfest

Tonight we went downtown to the Oktoberfest celebration that the town hosts every year (since last year). It was hard... it was so hard that it wasn't really worth the effort to go. Sidewalks were crowded, and had so much stuff on them that it was impossible for a wheelchair to use them when we had to. We avoided the sidewalks when we could. Plus, there weren't always slopes down from the sidewalks to the streets when we needed one, so then we would have to use different routes all the time... It was honestly easier to use the streets.

Plus, there are always bands playing loud music as entertainment at things like this... Music is fine, and the entertainment was fine, but there was absolutely no possible way for me to join in the conversation, as our friends we were talking to at the time couldn't hear a thing I was saying. This is, of course, no one's fault, but not being able to speak usually means that I become bored. to. death.

Every time I decide to attend one of these types of outside celebrations, I'm reminded of why I don't often bother to leave the house, of why I don't attend these types of celebrations. Next time, I think I'll just cause everyone a lot less trouble all around and stay home where I can write or read if I want. At least, I'll be able to get to where I'm going with as little fuss as possible... That way Don has fun talking to people, Ellie has fun climbing on things, and I have fun being where people can hear what I have to say. It's a better situation all around.

2006-09-25T11:48:00.000-05:00

Worms, Just Like I Promised

Okay, here's the story of why worms give me the heeby jeebies, and why I can think of about a million things that I would rather spend my time catching...

One summer day, when I was a teenager or in college or something... I remember being young enough to climb the maple tree in the front yard. The tree was an easy climb, with limbs that were close to the ground. Anyway, I was only up one or two branches, when I put my right hand in a crook of a branch in order to lever myself up to the next branch... But when I got up to that next branch, I realized that I'd put my right hand right in with a bunch of bag worms sunning themselves in the crook of the branches. Only, they weren't sunning themselves now! They were crawling all over my hand... I jerked my hand back so hard to fling off all those worms that I lost my grip on the tree and feel backwards onto the ground... Luckily, I was only up a few feet at the time, and landing on my butt on the grass of the lawn wasn't much of a fall. But I have been ridiculously terrified of worms that can crawl all over you ever since, and even though I know that I'm being ridiculous, it doesn't help... Worms just give me the heeby jeebies... and probably always will.

So catching that worm the other day wasn't the easy task I made it out to be. I first had to deal with the fact that I couldn't breathe from the second I saw it crawling on the floor by the back door, then decide to fetch Ellie's bug jar, then catch a worm that definitely didn't want to be caught... UGH! I don't understand what Ellie sees in bugs... Maybe because of the fact that bugs move a heck of a lot faster than I can colors my perception of them. I just plain don't like anything that crawls... That, however, lends a bit more understanding to my utter revulsion last Friday when a huge wolf spider crawled right up to my desk and disappeared underneath it after playing around the legs of my walker for a minute... I still don't know where it is, and I check everywhere I go in the Family Room. Double ugh!

I've been writing lately, which is why I've been so quiet lately. I finished a very long story (50 pages long - I checked out of curiosity, not for bragging rights or anything). I was quite pleased with the final versiion I got on this one. But then, that night I thought of another story plot. Only, when I started writing his new story, it was nothing short of utter drivel... I deleted it from my computer and started over. It's much better this second time around, but it keeps me busy enough t make me have to take the time to write a post... Now you know what I've been doing... That story has me so befuddled in the mind that the rest of the world might as well not exist for all I notice what's going on it in...

2006-09-19T18:54:00.000-05:00

I'm Always doing PT, It Seems

I lock my left knee all the time whenever I take a step... So, I've been working on not locking that knee when I walk. That means that I have to tighten my left knee muscles before and during every step I take. I 'walk the right way' about 80% of the time now (corners and going backwards are still too hard to 'walk the right way,' so I still walk wrong whenever I come to a corner or have to walk backwards). However, the amount of concentration necessary to 'walk the right way' is enormous... I'm so tired right now that it's a wonder I can walk at all...

A Good Ellie Story

I found a worm (a big, huge, juicy worm) on the floor by the back door the other day. Instead of killing it (who wants bugs in their house, after all?)(besides, squishing it would have done nothing but make a huge mess that I would then just have had to clean up), I decided it would be easier all around to capture this worm in the bug jar that Ellie keeps around for her bug collection... (She loves bugs) So, I caught the worm in the bug jar that has a lid with air holes already poked into it, so I didn't have to do much of anything but put the worm far away from me. (I'm not fond of worms... as to why I'm not fond of worms... that's another story for another day.) When Ellie got home from school that night, she was thrilled with her new 'caterpillar.' When my sister came for a visit later that evening, she told Ellie that the 'caterpillar' needed some grass to eat so that it wouldn't go hungry.

My Sister: Hey, Ellie, what kind of grass do caterpillars eat?

Ellie: Green.

2006-09-16T14:20:00.000-05:00

A Day in The Sun

We went to a Truman State University football game today. It was hot, hard, crowded, walking was way too painful, and we were losing when we left after halftime. But I got to see the band, so all was not lost, and some friends of ours looked after Ellie for us during the game and into the afternoon, so it was well worth all the agony of going... and I like going to football games... They remind me of when I was in college and in the band... Do you know, the band cheers really haven't changed since I started school in 1987? That says a lot right there. Either I'm getting old or the band cheers are getting old. Either way, the band looked quite good... they actually marched... We never marched for the first game when I was in band... and the music was rather hard... harder than we ever played.

Speaking of music, I just saw my CD for the miniseries North and South in my CD rack... remember that series? All I know is that I've wanted the music to that mini series since the 80s, when it came out, and it took me this long to buy a copy of it so that I can yell "Good horns!" when I listen to it... I always listen for the French Horn parts, probably because I've played Horn since I was in sixth grade. The band conductor originally wanted me to play baritone, but I couldn't lift it, so I kind of got to play Horn by default... Good Horn parts are hard to come by... The hardest was anything by John Williams... that guy really knows how to use his horn section! He nearly killed me every time we played his music when I was with the Quincy Volunteer Community Band... And it blows my mind (what's left of it) to think that we used to sight read that stuff! Either my sight reading skills improved during those years, or my faking skills did. I'm not really sure, now. All I know is that Sundays used to mean driving to Quincy, playing in the park, dying of sweat, and drinking Frappucino's on the way home. I still love the coffee and own my own Horn, even if I can't play it yet (it takes an amazing amount of air to get noise out of a French Horn!). It sits in the corner and gathers dust now... That is, when Ellie's not pestering me to get it out and play a little for her.

And speaking of Ellie... The other night, when we were at supper, she brought her little toy pink and purple hair dryer to the table and proceeded to 'blow' on her food. I nearly died laughing.

2006-09-15T15:29:00.000-05:00

Words

The word today is 'erudite.' It means to be characterized by extensive reading or knowledge. Every time I hear that word (not that I hear it very often), I think of the movie The American President, when Michael J. Fox's character says "He just got everyone wondering how to spell 'erudite.'" (I may have the quote slightly wrong... it's been a long time since I've seen that movie.) When I hear him say that, it's inevitable... I think 'Gosh, how do you spell 'erudite?'' So, to make my third grade teacher totally proud of me, I looked it up in the dictionary... Only, I didn't know how to spell it. So, I started reading the dictionary... And the next thing I knew, it was two hours later and I was still reading the dictionary like it was a fiction story, and I knew that I was a person in BBBIIIGGG trouble... I was one of those geeks who read the dictionary. Yeek!

Coumadin strikes again... I've been awake sinc 2:00 a.m. I'm starting to get a little punchy now... Does it show?

And 'insouciant' means to act nonchalant. I had to look that one up, too, when I first saw it in high school. However, that word is so strange that you will probably never forget its definition... I know that I never did.

2006-09-12T09:59:00.000-05:00

Update

I tried to update last night, but then hit the wrong key on the keyboard and erased my entire entry, and then was so disgusted that I played Don's computer game that he wrote called 'Mahjonng' to help me calm down again... Otherwise, I might have hurt my computer, and it's hardly the computer's fault that I hit the wrong key so often. However, I have to wonder what on Earth some computer programers were thinking when they designed their programs a certain way. My email program is written the same way... a keystroke will erase everything... so the fact that I have literally spent hours writing a letter only to hit the wrong thing once and have the letter disappear is highly aggravating when the same thing happens in another program. But what can I do, except learn a new program? Again Ugh! Sometimes, I wonder if technology is really worth the pain and agony it causes! (Then how, I wonder, could I possibly have married a computer programmer? Life is full of surprises, I guess!)

Speaking of surprises, we actually hired a babysitter and went out last night. We were invited to a meeting where local and not so local politicians wanted to talk about what they all planned to do for handicapped people if they were elected. There was a lot of talk about Medicare and Medicaid, and playing the system, and lots of statatistics were thrown around... but, really, the thing that most affects my daily life is not drug plans or money or new programs... Not that those aren't important issues, certainly, but they don't affect me personally... No, the most important thing for me is something so simple, so basic, and therefore, so ignored,... it's almost embarrassing to admit that simply being able to go to the bathroom in a public place is far more imprtant than any new programs... To the point that I don't go out in public very often anymore... It's just not worth it. But, then, no one asked me what I think... But I figured that I can hardly complain about this state of mine if I didn't go listen to what they all have to say... We left in the middle of the program, as I needed to use the facilities, but the facilities... We just went home early. I played Mahjonng instead, and ate chocolate chip cookies that the babysitter made with Ellie. A much more enjoyable way to spend the evening...

I have an ingrown toenail that is infected. This is not really a big deal, but I've noticed that it hurts so bad so often that it is affecting my walking, such as it is. So, I have an appointment to go to the doctor this afternoon... I don't plan to go to the ER, which should make some politicians happy... but I just want to get rid of this infection once and for all. Oh, and I also got a new pair of tennis shoes last week... Not that I can enjoy them, as this toe of mine hurts so much... Sometimes, life is just full of clouds, and it's better to eat cookies than to dwell on your aches and pains too much. Besides, the cookies will taste better, and who can turn down chocolate?

2006-09-07T14:04:00.000-05:00

Two posts in one day? What's up with that?

It's a Puzzle

I've had something on my mind for the last... say... six months. But I can't decide which of two doubtful choices I would ultimately make... I can't make up my mind. (Not that any of this is real, mind you, and I know that, but I can't resist a good puzzle...) So, in the hopes that you will give many opinions, and that those opinions will influence me one way or the other, here's the most recent mental puzzle that has been slowly drving me crazy. (As if I'm not half crazy already.)

To understand this puzzle, you have to have a brief synopsis to the background story I'm thinking of, and you have to completely suspend your desbelief (This may be harder for some to do than for others to do):

I've been watching the series Stargate, SG-1 on DVD since a friend gave me the first season for my last birthday. Now, I knew nothing about this series, other than that it was science fiction. I discovered that this series, which is now in its 10th season on the Sci-Fi channel, was originally based on a 'B' movie called Stargate, with Kurt Russel and James Spader. The idea of the original movie was fairly simple: the Egyptian God known as 'Ra' was actually two beings in one... an alien with a human host. Now, 'Ra' was the first alien, and he was as bad as they come (stereotypical bad guy). Enter Air Force Colonel Jack O'Neill (stereotypical good guy) , who was sent to where 'Ra' was currently conquering his slave nations, where Jack was to destroy the alien, even if it meant killing himself in the process... As he had just buried his son, the idea of suicide was not so much of a problem for him. The alien was rather stock, and so was the Colonel (he was simply 'military' without much character development), but the problem posed by the movie was, in and of itself, fairly real and interesting.

The series Stargae, SG-1 is based on this 'B' sci-fi movie (thus, the names Stargate versus Stargate, SG-1), but it's much more complex, complete, and intriguing. There's much more character development... for example, the alien bad guys are now an alien race known as the Goa'uld (say that name ten times fast, I dare ya!)(I can't say it at all!) who harvest hosts after breeding them specifically to become hosts, and once the alien (a snake-like creature who wraps around the hosts' spinal chord and enters the brain from there) takes a human host, the takeover is complete... There's supposedly nothing of the host personality left... the Goa'uld (the alien) personality takes over... until the host body is killed. Not a pretty life for the Americans who watch this show... They prize individuality as a high commodity. Plus, for some odd reason, we all are taught to distrust snakes.

My current puzzling conundrum is this: given the two choices, do I have a stroke and force myself to relearn... well... relearn everything, or do I become a Goa'uld, and let an alien entity steel my individuality, while I spend my extra long life (a Goa'uld gives its host excellent health, something I've never known, and extra long life) , but knowing I will spend that extra long life killing and steeling other host bodies for other Goa'ulds... So, do I live with the effect of the stroke (and let's face it, they're pretty devastating) or do I become Goa'uld and accept all the baggage that comes with it, all the while knowing that to become a Goa'uld means that 'blending' with an alien will cure all the effects left over from a paralyzing stroke? What a hard choice to make! I can't do it! Even after six months of thought, I haven't been able to make up my mind... (Not that this ultimately matters... But it's fun to puzzle out what I would do, given the choice) On the one hand, you have individuality, but no health, and on the other hand, you have health, but no individuality... Which would you choose... What do you all think?

2006-09-07T11:12:00.000-05:00

Not my fault it's been so long between posts... My blog company had upgraded, and as is per usual with upgrades, instead of upgrading much of anything really important, they broke the blog program! It's finally fixed now. (But you just gotta love computers.. Not!)

It's a Small World After All

Okay... I'm lying in bed last night at 3:00 a.m., wondering why the heck I'm wide awake... (besides the sawhorse namedDon sleeping next to me)... and I wonder if it's because the blood thinner I've been taking for the past two years is giving me insomnia or what... Didn't know that particular feature about Coumadin... It causes insomnia, loss of sleep, staring at the ceiling at 3:00 in the morning... Well, at least it wasn't 1:00 in the morning... (Been there, done that.)

This all made me think about how we finally learned that a blood thinner causes insomnia. Because, no one had ever told us that before. Not the doctors, not the nurses, not the therapists... I figured that this side effect to Coumadin was relatively unknown... Until, one day a while ago, my first oupatient Speech Therapist named Andrea told us about it. She knew because her previous patients had told her they took Coumadin and had insomnia, and she was the first person I ever heard who put two and two together and came up with a connection between the two. The funny thing about Andrea is that Don knew who the heck she was from waaaaayyyy before the stroke... It turns out that she was in the NEMO Singers with him in college... she sang soprano... and she also gave our daughter her first hearing test while we were in the hospital... way back then. How weird is that? We totally lose contact with her, then she turns out to be the Speech Therapist I'm assigned to. Don knew who she was right away, and she at least looked familiar to me... you know how Truman (Northeast) is such a small campus... everybody knows everybody else... at least, by sight. So, the world just keeps getting smaller and smaller all the time, and they all live in Kirksville, I swear...

By the way, she was a really good therapist, too...

2006-09-03T09:53:00.000-05:00

Sick Humor

(The word of today is 'insouciant.' Two points to anybody who knows what it means!)

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the kind of things Don and I think are funny. They aren't the normal things that normal people think are funny. We have really sick senses of humor, actually. In the movies, or literature, we have what is called 'Dark Humor.' For instance, we go around, saying gross things about brain injuries, such as, which one of us really has one, me, who has been proven to have had one, or Don, who is an eccentric genius who has no common sense. So, which one of us is really sick? Or are we both sick, and just don't know it?

Things to make you go Hmmm!

2006-08-31T18:23:00.000-05:00

I've been informed of all the formatting mistakes I made yesterday, and hopefuly have everything fixed now, at least, fixed in my head. So... on with the show!

Thursday, Aug 31, 2006

Carpet

Have you ever thought about how good your carpet feels when you're walking on it in bare feet? I hadm't been barefoot since the stroke, so I didn't know anything about the carpet in our house. But now, I walk to the restroom every night, and, among being half asleep, I get to feel the carpet on my feet all the time, now. The carpet in our house is very luxurious and quite squishy. On any regular day, it's so squishy that it's hard for me to walk on it. But at night, I have to say that it's quite a thing to feel it against my bare feet. I would never have chosen this carpet myself... it was already in this house when we decided on buying... but I appreciate it more, maybe, because of that, I think. It makes me rather jealous of people who are able to walk with their shoes off all the time (walking barefoot is about twice as hard as walking while wearing good tennis shoes). It's so nice that part of me is sad that I need to go back to sleep when I do get back to bed. But I'm so much slower at barefoot walking than I am at walking with my shoes on that there's not much point in taking my shoes off during the day except to fold clothes, or play games with Ellie... things that you have to do on the floor. But I have to say, I really like our carpet then... So, here's to the floor!

Don and I walked around the house today, since I'm not going to therapy right now. It went pretty well, and Don makes a rather demanding therapist... Fred, my first therapist, would be proud of him. Don made me walk all over the place, and then we did some exercises in my parallel bars to work on not locking me knee all the time. He wore me out so baddly that I had to sit on the floor and rest! I'm still feeling tired and worn out. Ugh! Don makes too good of a therapist, I think. Maybe it's his second calling after math professor/computer administrator... Poor me!

2006-08-30T21:30:00.000-05:00

Linda is sick and tired of waiting to read new posts, so she is taking over

Okay, since I stay at home all day, and have more time, and am... well... the better speller (please don't crucify me if you see a spelling mistake... Most of my mistakes are typos, not spelling mistakes, but they LOOK like spelling mistakes... oh, you get the picture), I decided that I should stop complaining, and take over writing for the blog. I may still not know what's going on (hey, Linda, Don doesn't tell me anthing, either, so don't feel bad... We can start a club of uninformed people or something), but at least I know a few things.
For example, I know that we are not going to therapy right now while Don and the Insurance Company fight it out over my bills for Physical therapy... The Insurance Company is saying that I should have a limit of 24 visits, while Don is saying that I should have unlimited visits... Now, I ask you, if I don't qualify for unlimited PT, who does? But the Insurance Company insists that we pay ourselves for any PT I receive, and as a PT visit is a little over $200.00 every time I go to therapy, we decided that I'll stay home until we get things straightened out with the Insurance Company. We can probably do more therapy on our own, anyway, as we will have more time to do therapy ourselves (no time spent on driving, or on waiting around this way), so it's home for me for... well, until they all figure out what's going on. That could potentially take a long time, so here I sit. I sit at my computer all the time anyway, so not much will change.
What did I do today? I got up at 5:00 a.m. (Don snores) and started writing on one of my stories, and finally came up for air at 2:00 in the afternoon. The story was finished, and my stomach was making a horrible grumbling sound, as I had forgotten to eat lunch, once again. I used to wonder in the past how this could happen to Don , but I now understand the way he often forgets to eat. I can't laugh at him for forgetting, as I'm just as forgetful as he is.
I'm sort of taking a break from practicing therapy all the time, and it's beginning to show. I did try to sing today to some of my CDs that I played in my computer. It's a good thing no one was around to hear me, as I sounded awful. But I will admit that I can now sing a lot higher than I used to be able to. However, awful is still awful. If I wanted to hear what a sick cow sounds like, I would go to the vet's office. As it is, I just won't sing if anyone can hear me. That's a nice compromise.
Other than that, nothing much is going on, and the only thing I can think of to rant about (well, actually, I can think of a lot of things) is how frustrated I get when I try to convince the computer to do anything. I can't even sign on to any of the secure websites out there. In fact, those 'secure' sites are just a pain in the... fill in the blank... and I leave them the minute I realize that I have to sign in in order to use the site. That's why my web page is completely open to the public. At least no one can say that he or she can't use my site whenever they want. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks the same way I do. But at least, that's one thing that Don and I can agree on when it comes to technology. (That's just about the only thing we agree on, though.)

2006-08-23T21:32:00.000-05:00

Let them eat cake

Last week was Ellie's birthday, so I took her to the store to pick out a cake. Some people would bake a cake for their kids, but I've always been partial to store-bought cake, and especially store-bought icing.

I showed her the book with all of the fancy cake designs you can get. I figured she would pick a Dora cake. But my daughter walked down the display case, pointed at the double fudge chocolate cake, and said I want that one. So double fudge chocolate it was. We also bought a red velvet cake to make sure we'd have enough.

Would you believe that Ellie didn't eat a single piece of either cake? She was more interested in playing with her friends and her new gifts. She blew out the candles, and we gave cake to all of the other kids an parents, but she wasn't interested. In fact there was cake the next day, and I asked her again and she said no again.

Oh, well. More for me!

2006-08-21T20:42:00.000-05:00

Caught up in life

Wow, school starts tomorrow. Like any normal kid, Ellie is looking forward to being with her friends, but not looking forward so much to the structure of school. I, of course, am completely excited to be getting back to a schedule for myself. Ellie seems to like hanging out with Linda and me, but I can't imagine why. She seems bored so much of the time.

I'm getting a little end-of-summer programming in. Once the semester starts, I expect to be too busy with things to program for fun. All of my programming will aim at lofty projects and work. As usual, I have more projects than I have time. That's probably a good thing, though, because it forces me to have students involved. I've almost always got good projects for them.

I'm also keeping up with Jim and Jen (although I've never talked to any of the family, it's all been email). Jim had a stroke much like Linda's, i.e. same area of the brain. All strokes are different because all brains are different (which you've noticed of course, although we usually say all people are different).

Still there have been lots of similarities, and that makes me something of an informal expert. I can say, "Did you think to ask him this... or that..." They'll be going to rehab next week. As much as I enjoyed rehab and the people at Rusk, I'm glad we're not there. It was an aweful lot of work.

Speaking of Rusk. We were there this week. Another 6 month visit. Dr. R changed Linda's medication again because he thought she was slower than in February. I think it is better already now, but Linda says it feels about the same to her. We missed seeing most of the therapists who were busy or off that day, but we did run into miss Molly. She was chipper as always.

One nice improvement to Rusk: they are going non-smoking inside and outside. I wish the whole world would do that.

Classes start for me on Monday. I'll be a bit busy this week, too. I volunteered to do a group discussion on Wednesday with some of the new freshment. Thursday is division day, so we'll be meeting the new majors. There will be computer things to get done somewhere in there too.

Still, fall is my favorite time. I love that first day of classes; new people, new energy and excitement; the uneasy anticipation of the freshment. Ahh, and fighting for a parking spot...

2006-08-07T22:31:00.000-05:00

Dr. Bindner,

I don't know if you remember me or not, but I attended some of the FSCK meetings a couple years ago. My wife, Amy, mowed your yard for a while our last semester. I graduated Dec. 04 and now work for a company called NISC.

I'm sending this note under unfortunate circumstances... A fellow employee here at NISC (Jim B., age 37) whom I do not really know personally but have met him once, suffered a bad stroke last Thursday night. Through the grapevine, I had heard that he had trouble with his vision a few days earlier, but didn't think anything of it. Then on Thursday, he was sent to the hospital unconscious. The hospital he went to spent a few hours trying to diagnose an unconscious patient, and eventually had him transferred to a bigger hospital in St. Louis, that performed an emergency surgery to remove a blood clot from his brain early Friday morning.

As of Sunday, he is conscious and can only move his eyes up and down, and move one of his index fingers. He can't blink, but can communicate 'yes' by moving his eyes up, and 'no' by moving his eyes down.

I hope I don't bring back nightmares, but believe that any thoughts and/or prayers from any community you have become a part of can only help things for Jim and his wife Jennifer (who also works for NISC).

Thank you, so much!
-Justin W.

2006-08-04T09:50:00.000-05:00

Fishing

You'll wonder why I haven't posted of late. I just finished a 3-week academy where I taught computer programming to junior high students. That pretty much meant I was busy from sunrise to sunset with work. In fact, I'm still writing their evaluation letters which have to be done by Monday.

That reminds me of an idiom, burning the candle at both ends. I've looked this idiom up, and people have all kinds of wacky theories about what the heck its literal meaning must be. There's speculation that it refers to physically lighting a candle on both ends. You get twice as much light (work) from the candle but it gets used up quick.

Personally, I wonder if there isn't a more sensible explanation for that idiom. Burning the candle at both ends means getting up early and staying up late. So until modern electric lighting was invented that meant you were burning the candle at both ends of the day. Getting up when it was dark, and staying up after dark. Doesn't that seem much more plausable?

My dad always used to say, You know what you get when you burn the candle at both ends: a short wick! That of course is a reference to dynamite (it originally was a short fuse).

So, what does all this have to do with fishing? Nothing, but it's my blog. Actually, though, I do have a fishing tale. I took Ellie fishing last night with a friend. Actually, to be completely honest, Ellie has been asking to go fishing, so I talked a friend who has more experience to take us.

So Steve and I and Ellie and Steve's daughter Hallie all piled in a boat on a nearby lake and fished last night. I didn't catch anything, but not for lack of trying. The most exciting part, of course, was that Ellie caught her first fish. It was a small bass, which we reeled in and let go. She was very pleased.

2006-07-09T10:34:00.000-05:00

If you can't see, try falling on your face

We discovered a few weeks ago that the reason Linda doesn't need a prism on her eyeglasses now is because she bent them sometime back by falling on them. She's been trying a different (unbent) pair on from time to time to see how much her double vision is clearing up. I've also straightened her bent glasses a bit at a time for her to make them more straight.

This morning was the first time she could see correctly from her unbent glasses.

2006-07-02T18:56:00.000-05:00

See, this is why you tape your phone calls

Thank you Michelle for passing this on to me:

The Consumerist

2006-06-25T21:25:00.000-05:00

Busy ignoring you

Wow, I can't believe how long it has been since a post. Here's the news.

First, I haven't been posting because this is my vacation. I've been notoriously bad about using my vacation time for myself. Of course when we came home from Rusk, there was never time to stop, something always needed to be done. Then we bought a new house. Then school started up again.

During recent breaks I've worked on my speech therapy software. I did some computer work for the speech clinic at Truman. I've installed new computers for the Math and CS division. I've kept busy; really busy.

It's not that I mind being busy. I love having a project to work on, and I often move from project to project. But this spring I was really burned out. Not using my vacation for vacation had really added up. So when summer came, I was resolved to use some of it for me. I was determined to do what I want to the greatest extent I was able, and to not do what I don't want as much as possible. Last week I managed to become bored, so I feel I've had some success. The timing is good because I'm actually teaching during July, so in a way work will resume.

My summer project has been to learn about investing. My free time is consumed reading books about investing and the markets and finance. I've never been all that interested in any of that stuff, so I was surprised to find much of it fascinating. There've been good math questions (and yes, they are going to show up in my future math classes). I've spent a lot of time reading proxy materials, and annual reports, trying to size up companies and their management. It's surprisingly hard. It's no wonder to me now that most investment portfolios can't match the S&P 500.

I've done a little bit of fun programming. I've decided that Javascript is the unsung hero of computer languages. It's way better than you might think.

Linda continues to go to therapy on Tuesdays. Somehow she is getting a kind of reputation with her current therapists for being a slacker. How these rumors get started I have no idea. She bikes, we go out once a week to walk on campus (about 1/8 mile), she uses the parallel bars at home, she does activities around the house. It's really quite a lot.

Ellie is doing swimming lessons. I think she's starting to be sated though. When the water is cold, she's just as happy going to school as swimming. At the beginning there was hardly any way to get her out of the pool.

For Father's Day, I took Ellie to the pool in town. It just happens that fathers got in free, and I was cool with that. Ellie had been nagging me to go for a while. We swam and then I went to visit with other adults there that I knew. I think that's the rule: if we go swimming, then the adults get to socialize.

I had no idea how much a hour of swimming with 8-year-olds could do. On Wednesday, Ellie had for the first time put her face in the water while swimming. By the end of Sunday under the tutelage of kids, she was swimming 5 feet entirely under water. I was stunned. I should dump her in with kids and leave her alone more often.

Today we went to Iowa to see my new nephew. He was cute. We tried Subway on the trip instead of McDonald's. As usual, the accessibily was about 90% there. Inside, it was great, one of the best restaraunts we've done yet, but there was an inch-and-half lip to get inside the building. No way to do that without real help. Still, we'll probably eat there again anyway.

2006-06-06T23:05:00.000-05:00

A new skill

It's not a big thing, but Linda was telling me that she learned something new again recently. A week or so back we bought a mat for her to use for exercises on the floor. Among other things, getting up from the floor is pretty much always an ordeal, where she sort of levers herself up slowly.

She was commenting that over the weekend when she was exercising, she wasn't really thinking about how to sit up. She kind of forgot that it's always hard and just did it like you would normally. And it worked.

She said it is much easier. I can't really go into more detail than that because I haven't seen her do it. But that's what she said, and I've no reason to disbelieve her.

2006-06-03T22:08:00.000-05:00

What happens when you sit in Linda's wheelchair

I promised I would tell what happens when you wheel around in Linda's wheelchair. I did this the other day on campus when she got tired.

The first thing that happens is that you discover that the sidewalk behind Missouri hall does not actually slope down to the parking lot the way it should. I had only gone 4 feet when I got stuck, and I mean really stuck as in couldn't go forward or backward. I finally got unhung by leaning hard on one wheel when and turning it backward. But I only managed because I was totally healthy and determined; Linda could never do it.

The 2nd thing is that your arms get tired. And you realize that it isn't so easy to push both wheels exactly the same. I tend to drift right. Linda tends to drift left. I had to mak sure I didn't run into the hedges a couple of times. And downhill sections are great, because you don't have to push. You only have to make sure you don't go too fast.

The 3rd thing that happens is a surprise. You turn invisible. Linda told me that this happens, but it was amazing to experience it. No one looks at you. I passed a girl who was walking the other way and she just inspected the grass on the side of the sidewalk. I forced her to look by cheerfully saying "Hi," and she looked for just the briefest moment before returning to her study.

It's surprisingly hard to run a wheelchair down the sidewalk, and it's surprisingly slower than walking considering you're on wheels. I definitely had a feel for the efficiency of walking about. You can get places so quickly.

And when you're walking, people can see you.

2006-06-03T11:02:00.000-05:00

Not dead yet

I know, no post in 2 weeks. Probably a record. But it is summer break, and maybe a break is in order, even for bloggers. I know you're desperate to hear the news, so here is some.

My John Deere L120 lawn tractor has been in the shop for 2 week because it was running so bad. It's still under its 2-year warranty, so it didn't cost me anything to have it repaired, except $15 to have it brought back to the house when I couldn't borrow a trailer. It had a bad cam shaft (a fancy rod with knobs that controls things like the opening and closing of valves in the engine). I'm glad it was a warranty repair because that would have been expensive out of my pocket.

Last night I put on a new set of blades and mowed everything. Some of the grass was tall like a hay field, so I knew I'd need sharp blades. I lost my metric set of sockets the last time I moved (or the time before that, I'm not sure) so I had to get some new ones. Everything on the tractor is in millimeters, and as tight as things are, there's really no fussing around with adjustable wrenches. I still bruised my palm pushing, but I got the old blades off and the new ones on. I can have the old ones sharpened at my leisure now.

It seems there have been things to keep busy with while not mowing the lawn. I did some work at school after classes were out. One day the power was out long enough to drain the backup power on all of my servers. Five of them had some trouble coming back up, which is definitely a record for us. I'm counting the two computers currently in my office, but, frankly, I'm used to zero problems even with my own machines.

I've also spent some time programming for fun. I've been writing a version the game Bejeweled, and it turned out pretty well. I'm happy with it. Linda is glad that it's done, because I tend to ignore her when I'm working on a project.

Linda and I have done some different things for therapy. We got a small exercise mat for home, and we've gone walking on campus for endurance. She walked for 30 minutes, from the back of Missouri hall to the eternal flame in front of Kirk memorial (which as usual was not lit). I brought her wheelchair from the car, and I wheeled it the whole way to see how hard it is. That was pretty interesting, and I'll post about that later.

Ellie starts swimming lessons, and summer pre-school is going. She was very upset that all of her best friends were split into a pre-kindergarten group. But they were cool about it, and let her switch. She can stay with the older kids as long as she cooperates and works on things like she is supposed to. If she gets spastic and random and young she may have to go back with the younger kids.

2006-05-19T20:19:00.000-05:00

One foot

Every house has bedtime rituals. This is ours. Generally I tell Ellie when it is time for bed. Like most kids she tries to negotiate an extension on bedtime. She is generally allowed to do this, but after the bedtime call I won't talk to her (because it's time for bed).

When she gets tired of that (usually about 5 minutes), she'll tell me she wants to go to bed. She'll lay on the floor on her back and stick up one foot, calling out One foot!

Somehow it has become our tradition that I carry Ellie to bed upside down by one foot at bedtime. She's very particular about it. On some nights when I'm tired I try to cheat and hold her by both ankles. But she won't have it. One foot. That's it.

2006-05-16T11:13:00.000-05:00

Busier than busy

So with finals behind, you'd think things would start calming down. Not true. It's more like the floodgates have opened. All of our friends are academics too, so they're starting to throw those end-of-term parties and relearning to search each other out socially. So despite there officially not being school, we have some kind of appointment every day all week long. That will be trying on Linda's endurance.

Yay, no more mowing

My John Deere lawn tractor is giving me fits. It limped through mowing the lawn yesterday, and I took it in this morning after a lot of personal troubleshooting. I figured that it would probably pay in the end to buy the engine manual for the mower engine, so I have a reference at hand.

Something is wrong with the left cylinder (it's a two-cylinder engine). According to the book, the 2-cylinder engines can run just fine (but underpowered) on one cylinder until they are overwhelmed by load. That's true. I could pull the spark plug wire off the left plug, and the engine would purr (although I was getting mildly electrocuted). Obviously the right cylinder works fine. Reversing and removing the right plug definitely leaves the engine in a sickly state.

So yesterday, I went in to ask about this behavior with the mechanics at the local JD place. They said, Bring it in before the warranty expires. Well, who could argue with that? They put my tractor in a pen with about 60 others, so I'm figuring it will be a while before I hear back.

2006-05-10T23:45:00.000-05:00

Finesse

I know I haven't updated with stuff lately. That's the way of finals. But I have one little story. Recently, Ellie handed me a play sword and demanded that I exercise with her. This amounted to a modest amount random clashing in generally unskilled sword play.

Then she told me that my sword should fall from my hand. I wasn't sure what she was getting at, but I obediently dropped my sword to the ground.

She stepped in with her sword and delicately traced a perfect little Z on my stomach.

2006-05-01T15:25:00.000-05:00

Speech therapy 101

It wasn't really 101, but Linda and I went to talk to a class of speech therapy students this morning.

I intentionally didn't talk at first, because last time we did this Linda said I did all of the talking and she wasn't even necessary.

I had a sense that the students today were very keen to hear her speak because she is such a classic dysarthria patient. I couldn't be positive, but my sense was that they understood her pretty well despite the white sound of the ventilation system in Barnette. One of the girls was her former clinician, so I'm sure she understood.

Linda told them the general outline of the beginning of her stroke, how long she was in the hospital, how long she did therapy, etc. She doesn't actually remember a lot of those things, so she doesn't tell a lot of details.

I took a turn, filling in some of the details that I know better than Linda. I showed them the communication devices that I made for Linda, and explained how we used them.

I showed them diagrams of blood vessels and a snapshot of Linda's MRI showing the location of the clot.

I even showed off my prototype speech software which impressed the room (except for Linda of course, she's never impressed). Then I had to leave for my calculus class, so Linda stayed a bit longer on her own. I haven't met up with her, so I don't know how the last part went yet.

She hasn't been online today, so I'm thinking we must have worn her out.

2006-04-29T21:53:00.000-05:00

Why so silent

You'll wonder why I haven't posted much lately. Actually my friends in academia won't wonder. They know. But it isn't just end-of-semester business. Some interesting things have made us busier than usual.

Last weekend we drove to Iowa for my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary. Linda didn't want to go because traveling is a drag, but she didn't want me to drive alone so far and she came. We had a nice handicap-accessible hotel room--smoking, but not too stinky.

It was about the only accessible thing anywhere. Don't think of moving to rural Midwest if you have a disability. It's amazing how many places are just-about accessible. Everything would be great, if the bathroom door was hinged on the other side. Or the handicap stall would actually be usable with a wheelchair if it was 12in deeper. Or if there were grab bars. Sometimes I want to tear my hair out.

The steakhouse where we had dinner was the worst. Linda's chair wouldn't fit through the bathroom door. It's not exactly a problem, I just helped Linda walk into the bathroom (which has no bars--who would need them, they couldn't get through the door anyway). It was prom night, so there was Linda and me and a lot of girls in stunningly pretty dresses. One was nice enough to hold the door for us.

That really was the worst. Most places were better than that at least. But we did use up our whole weekend and I in particular spent the next week grading and catching up. One of my more dramatic friends noticed that I was ignoring her. But we'll have coffee soon and I think she'll feel better. Or maybe she can ignore me now and all will be fair.

Things you can't talk about

Now that I have had some success with my speech software, I have been sitting down to plan out what comes next. I've done a bit of paper-sketching and planning. I'm busy picking out the tools I want to use. Some of it I've really looked into carefully. But it's all so damned technical that I can't tell anyone about it. Well I could, but they wouldn't care--not even people in my own discipline.

My college advisor told me this would happen sometimes if I chose to become an academic.